Unconquered
by RudyWrites
Summary: Zell was never one to believe in fate. He preferred to put his faith in things he could see, in people, but people aren't always that trustworthy. In the aftermath of war, his life has been turned around. Was it fate that the one kid he always hated was the one kid who could help put him back together?
1. Static

_Dedicated to the fighters,_

 _Never give up. Your dreams are valuable._

—R.W.

* * *

 _Chapter One: Static_

Scars littered skin previously untouched. His torso was composed almost entirely of scar tissue, the echoes of wounds twisting together into a jumbled mess to remind him of the horrors of war. Becoming a soldier was meant to honor his grandfather and to make his ma proud, but the teachers never really show you what it's like to fight with your fist against people with weapons, people with _guns_.

Some scars were from monsters, from scratches to bite marks. Others from swords, magic, bullets. For him, it was hard to distinguish them anymore. They were just _scars_. Ugly, permanent connections to the mindless war he'd fought. He didn't _want_ them, didn't _want_ to reminisce about the days he spent aching, bleeding, sleeping in a tent never knowing when he'd get to go home again.

Weeks would pass with him thinking _every day_ that he would finally die, and he never did, somehow even managing to survive a high security prison _buried_ in the middle of the desert. What was left of him after the war was a kind of shell, empty and barely there. Each scar brought him back to a place of fear and wanting to die. Stumbling backwards as his thoughts ran wild, he fell on his back, pushing himself away from the grats ganging up on him as best he could, scared like a child being tormented by a bigger bully for his lunch money.

And there it was, the sad end to his story. _Local war hero attacked by grats: dies in training center._ How pathetic. There was no honor in the way his breath hitched, caught in his throat like a coward. There was no _pride_ to be had for the boy scattering about on the ground, trying to decide between a death in the water or a death-by-grat, as if either one could redeem him of his shortcomings.

Heart rate rising, eyes widening, he barely noticed how shaky his breathing had become. The training center felt bigger than he remembered, nearly doubling the size of Garden all on its own. Of course, that made sense with all the monsters and kids running around, and even more sense with T-Rexaur lurking for battles at the worst possible times. Yet, somehow, in spite of the _four years_ he had spent training there, it had become unfamiliar. The _world_ had become his training center and many of those creatures were more disturbing than any here. That only left him being more ashamed of his fall here in his own home.

Sucking in a quick breath, he was unable to manage a scream before he threw himself into the water as a last ditch effort to avoid the charging grats. Splashing in the water, he immediately realized the pond was taller than he was. There was no chance of finding any footing and climbing back ashore wouldn't do any good until the enemies split. Fear set in and he was only barely able to keep his head above water. Suddenly, it seemed like drowning was the only way this ended.

What felt like hours in the water left him cold, lips blue and body tense. His eyes fell closed and he let himself drift, mind flashing back to the war once more. Thinking about all the times he should have died. The Timber incident, the battle against Edea in Galbadia, the prison, the missile base that exploded, and even in fighting Ultimecia herself. In the moment, he preferred _any_ of those deaths to this one.

Just as he began to give up hope, a man yelling caught his attention and his eyes snapped back open. Though the scream had felt distant, he came to realize the man was only a few feet away from the water where Zell strayed. A sword _sliced_ into the enemies, falling quickly one by one at the hands of a master swordsman clad in white. Surely it was the fact the near-unconsciousness that sprung his admiration of this swordsman, though there was a tint to his cheeks only explainable by feelings he refused to have.

A hand extended and Zell lifted his own, shaky as it was, grateful for being rescued. The taller man's hand was warm and suddenly he had a _craving_ for that feeling, for that heat. Like a moth to a flame, he couldn't pull away from the man's grip. He found himself leaning closer, pressing his weight into the taller man's side, finding a comfortable closeness previously unimagined.

" _Hyne_ , Chickie. You're fucking freezing."

It was true: the odds of him having hypothermia were sky high. Before he could respond, he'd been pulled into the long, white jacket, arms wrapped tight against his savior and he knew he was growing delusional. Seifer Almasy was _no_ hero, and yet there they were. Zell, freezing and only half-conscious, and Seifer, warm and heroic and an _anchor_ to reality. Something to keep Zell from slipping into a sleep he couldn't promise he'd return from.

"A-Are you just-just here to... to tell me I'm — breaking curfew? Bec-cause we're allowed to be in here for... for training purposes, even if it's — after hours."

Zell was stuttering, though it wasn't exactly something he could help with the way his jaw trembled. They were moving, but his feet were more _dragging_ in the path set by Seifer's. The strong arm around his waist was support, the taller man practically carrying the SeeD all by himself. It wasn't a _tremendous_ feat or good deed, considering how small Zell was, but it was _unanticipated_ , a real story to tell later and show how Seifer had changed.

"Relax, I was here to train when I saw your idiotic ass stuck in the water. And to think, _you're_ the SeeD of the two of us. Unbelievable."

"Tch, yeah, fine, _whatever_. If you're g-going to insult me you may as well j-just... leave me here. I don't need this."

Because, clearly, dying alone in the water was easier than dealing with the fact that he'd been saved by his lifelong enemy. By the man who'd helped an evil sorceress nearly take over the world. The man who had given Squall a scar he'd have to live with forever, and the man that had broken Zell's heart a decade ago. Really, he should have been over it by now, but some things are just too hard to move past.

Zell didn't notice how limp he went, or how little he was contributing to them getting out of there. The door was just barely in sight and there was a relief that clashed with the dragging feeling that the yards between them and freedom somehow felt like miles. Stopping on a dime, Zell looked up at Seifer in confusion before he felt himself lifted up. A small scream escaped his lips as he wrapped his arms around Seifer's neck and curled up as much as he could, resting his head against the man's shoulder.

It felt more like home there than it should have. He was being treated like an infant, like he didn't know how to take care of himself, and yet _part_ of him recognized the necessity. From there, their movement became swifter and he _did_ manage to relax. For a moment, falling asleep didn't seem so terrifying anymore. No, for a moment, he felt like he would be safe as long as he was there. Some messed up story _this_ was.

"Come on, keep your eyes open. I'm gonna get you to the infirmary and everything's gonna be okay. Just look at me, stay focused. You can do this."

Blinking, Zell allowed himself to do as instructed and focus on Seifer. Maybe it was his imagination, but Seifer's face felt somehow more define than it had been half a year ago. Perhaps it was the scar, contributing to a maturity no one had been sure Seifer would _ever_ have. A maturity that hadn't been seen in any of Seifer's SeeD exams. In a way, Zell could see it now. Could see a man that had found himself in the rubble of what _had_ been his life.

In a way, that was a positive result of the war, the fact that Seifer could stand among adults now. Zell still wished none of it had happened. Nights were the worst. In the dark, anything became possible and the idea that he didn't know what would be waiting for him was terrifying. As little as a growl was enough to put him on edge and to think a dragon would come out of the closet just to fight him. Maybe it was just his own fears manifesting in the horror he had experienced. Talking to Doctor Kadowaki about it was probably the best thing he could do.

After all, they had already been home for a month and that was hardly something he should be afraid of after being home so long. Granted, he'd left the Garden on minor missions since, but the scariest thing he'd encountered was a _bite bug_ outside of Balamb. His own mother didn't know about his nightmares; he hadn't even shown her his scars. There was no point in worrying her with things that were in the past.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Zell found himself lying in a bed with two bodies over him. One, though he struggled to identify given the light in his face, was Seifer. The other was Doctor Kadowaki. Fighting through the ringing in his ears, he managed to catch part of the conversation. Seifer was explaining that Zell had _fallen_ into the pond and that he needed to be looked at and she was agreeing. There was an exchange, almost angry in nature, that he couldn't understand, and then Seifer stormed out as he tended to do.

With Seifer gone, Zell's eyes fell closed.

* * *

Waking up brought his headache back to life and looking at the light left him wanting to _hurl_. Preparing for that, he turned over, but coughed up nothing. There was no sign of Seifer or Kadowaki which meant he was alone. Or, as alone as someone could be when there was a viewing window between his room and a hallway anyone could walk through. He couldn't help but wonder if Seifer had come through there, or if he'd checked in _at all_. The amount of sun coming through his window said it was _definitely_ afternoon, so it was obvious everyone who was coming already had.

Groaning, Zell forced himself to sit up, an arm wrapped around his stomach to keep himself balanced. He felt lightheaded, almost as if he were floating. Another grunt signaled him throwing his legs over the edge of the bed and pushing himself off until he could feel the floor. It took a moment of psyching himself up to stand, but he managed to find a balance and walk _slowly_ out of his room. Keeping a hand against the wall, he remained upright and able to slide to the next room. Kadowaki was on the phone facing the other way.

That's when he made the dumb decision to leave quietly. It took nearly half an hour to get back to his dorm and change into clothes that didn't have blood on them. Another twenty minutes went by while he gathered himself together for the day. He wasn't going to give up on spending time with his friends just because he felt stiff and uncomfortable. If anything, seeing them would help him loosen up.

First things first: he needed lunch. The cafeteria was packed and loud and far from where he wanted to be. The only benefit to standing there was the hot dogs, which he was _luckily_ able to get a tray of to enjoy. Taking a seat at a miraculously empty table, Zell nearly collapsed as he settled in. One arm propped him up with his chin in his hand. His free hand was for eating. Eyes glued to the tray of food, Zell had to resist rolling his eyes at the sound of footsteps stopping in front of his table.

"Zell Dincht eating hot dogs without inhaling them all at once. Now _that's_ something new." The jab came from a friend and wasn't meant to be rude. Irvine had even said it with a smile before sitting down without asking. "No offense, but you kinda look like hell. What happened to you?"

Though he opened his mouth to answer, no words left his lips. There wasn't time before the rest of the team somehow _appeared_ and joined. It was like an empty table was a summoning mechanism for the people you trusted. In all honesty, it was a miracle they were even all still there. Rinoa hadn't figured out what she wanted to do now that the war had been stopped and Irvine didn't want to go back to Galbadia and leave Selphie here. It had been a month and still nobody had plans for what came next.

Of course, they had never been _trained_ for anything but beating the sorceress, and now they'd done that. There was no more mission statement, unless they were just waiting for a new sorceress to turn evil. Garden was undergoing restructuring but Zell wasn't sure they had any idea what they wanted to restructure into. It was a disaster, but he stayed. As a SeeD, it was his job to stay and await further instruction, though part of him had begun hoping the only order left was to go home.

He had done his time. He ran around for months following a time-ruining sorceress who had brainwashed someone he _kind of_ cared about. He had watched everyone turn against each other when NORG tried to take over Garden. And now here they all were, sitting in a school cafeteria like normal students. Like normal teenagers who hadn't just _barely_ made it out of a war alive. It was amazing how Zell felt so alienated, like he was the only one who had been affected so detrimentally. Could it be that he was overreacting? No, he wasn't a _chicken_ like Seifer thought. He had just become broken somewhere along the line.

"Zell, you look totally awful! Are you alright? Don't tell me the cute girl in the library dumped you."

Blinking at Selphie's concern, Zell offered the closest thing to a smile he could muster and shook his head. _No, it wasn't anything like that._ As much as he loved his friends, talking to them about this wasn't an option. He wasn't even sure if he _did_ want to talk to Kadowaki. It was personal and something he was determined to work through all on his own. He had _always_ been alone. Before the war, he was distant from everyone. Focused only on becoming a SeeD. Great lot of good _that_ did him. So he dismissed the concern with a wave.

"She and I aren't together, and I'm just really tired. I don't know how much sleep I managed to get last night."

"But she _likes_ you and —"

"—What Selphie's _trying_ to say, Zell, is we know you've liked her for a while and if seeing her makes you happy, we support you."

Quistis cutting in was appreciated, but her hand reaching out for his forearm confused him. Was that meant to be comforting? If anything, it was uncomfortable being touched by a girl, having her stare at him with soft eyes as if there were expectations of his actions. He swallowed hard and shifted to reclaim his arm. Hoping it would make things less awkward, he ate one of the hot dogs in front of him, chewing only twice before he swallowed.

"Thanks, but I don't like her anymore."

Squall seemed bored, not that he could really be blamed for it. The only person _he_ had ever liked was Rinoa, and their drama was more or less in the past. They'd been together, in one capacity or another, for a few months. Things were going great. Zell was _jealous_. Not of either of them in particular, but of the fact that they were both able to find beauty in a horrible war. Jealous of the lengths Squall went to to make sure that she survived.

"You could go to the infirmary if you're not feeling well."

"I was already there this morning. I'm fine, guys, _really_. I had a little accident in the training center, but I — Seifer got me out."

He could have lied. It might have been easier than admitting _Seifer Almasy_ had a decent bone in his body. Yet the truth spoke of miracles and changes. It spoke to how a person can evolve as they go through trials. They would always be rivals, but maybe one day they could be friends, too. He knew how hard it must have been on Seifer since Raijin and Fujin left, both Galbadia-bound. Using Galbadia Garden as their hideout in the war had given all three of them time to acquaint themselves with the place and it was certainly nothing to scoff at.

Despite Balamb being the first Garden constructed, Galbadia was by far the most advanced and had more opportunities. Speaking honestly, Zell wasn't sure why Seifer had stayed instead of transferring alongside his posse. Maybe as much as they needed to lead themselves, he needed to discover what it was to be a real person and be _alone_ once in a while. Either way, it had been noticeably tough. That was likely the reason he had been training so late.

"Bullshit," Irvine finally called, expression that of unwavering disbelief.

"No," Zell admitted, shaking his head with the small raise of one eyebrow. "I started drowning and he pulled me out, carried me to the infirmary."

A few eyebrows went up and he could _see_ the whispers developing in their minds. Little telepathic messages between each of the couples, and Quistis was still looking at him. He stifled a sigh. It made sense if everyone thought he was going to end up with her just because they were the only two in the gang not paired up. After the war, it only took a week for Irvine and Selphie to get together. Maybe even _Quistis herself_ thought the two of them would fall together eventually, but he knew better. Maybe that was why having her stare made him shift in discomfort.

"That is _so_ sweet." Of course Rinoa would think that. She had been trying to convince them of Seifer's decency since day one. "Maybe he's trying to bury the hatchet! You need to go thank him, Zell! It's the right thing to do."

But he scoffed. The _right_ thing to do? Saving Zell had been the _least_ **Seifer** could have done, considering how many times he'd nearly gotten the smaller boy killed over the last six months. Although part of him felt like she did have a point. He could say thank you and leave it at that, assuming he could get that close to Seifer without turning red from anger and storming out.

"If you want to, you need to go find him _now_."

"Why's that? You got him doin' somethin', Squall?"

There was a moment of dead silence. Squall's face was unreadable, but he didn't give any hints that this could be anything _happy._ Irvine seemed to fold in on himself a little bit and even Selphie was uncharacteristically quiet. Whatever was going on was uncomfortable and Zell found his heart pounding harder as though he were concerned. What he didn't notice was the way his fingernails dug into his knees or how he leaned over the table as if getting closer would make one of them spit out the secret.

"Seifer leaves first thing in the morning for Galbadia. His trial is this week."

Zell abandoned all tension, jaw dropping with the news. He had completely forgotten. After the war, everyone was in a panic trying to figure out how to put the world back together. Angry citizens wanted those responsible for the war to be arrested, some wanted them _killed_. Thanks to backing by the Esthar President Laguna Loire, he'd gotten himself a month to go home and prepare, but suddenly Zell didn't know if anyone had actually _prepared_ for a trial or if they had all just tried to avoid it like he had.

A hand found its way into Zell's and upon looking up he realized it was Rinoa's. Somehow her gaze didn't hurt him like Quistis'. It was friendlier and came from a place of compassion, not pity or potentially lust. It was an innocent attempt at comfort and he smiled up at her to the best of his ability, giving her hand a light squeeze to say _don't let go_ and she didn't.

"If the guy's about to go get a death sentence, I guess I can be nice to him for one night."

They could have been friends, under different circumstances. Maybe if they hadn't been in the same orphanage they could have gotten along in school. Or maybe if they had simply forgotten how much they hated each other between Zell getting adopted and the both of them showing up at Garden. He could barely even remember how their fighting got started anymore, they were so young...

Scarfing down the rest of his hot dogs, Zell decided to be the bigger man. It was one night and then the rest of Seifer's life would be in the hands of Galbadia's counsel. Maybe they finally _could_ bury the hatchet, become better people. Start saving the world they worked together to break one small deed at a time. And it was all going to start right there in Balamb with two teenage rivals.

 _End Chapter One_


	2. Distance

_Chapter Two: Distance_

Zell left the cafeteria with a mission. The one single thing on his mind was finding Seifer and wishing him good luck at the trial, which would apparently be streaming live all around the world thanks to radio waves. Once again fixing the tower in Dollet was going to come back and bite Garden in the ass. Only, this time, it wasn't going to be all Zell's fault when it happened. No, it would all be riding on the back of one rogue soldier who never quite knew how to fall in line.

Aside from that, he wasn't the worst SeeD candidate Zell had ever seen. He could at least fight. Some of the kids that came through Garden struggled in keeping up with fast-paced fights, but never Seifer. It was like his adrenaline never stopped running, always keeping him amped up and running wild. Even Zell didn't have that much energy sometimes. Amazing what a tremendous amount of bottled anger can do to a kid.

Reasons like that would explain Seifer's tendency to be found in the training center, battling his days away with little care for everyone else's lives. And normally finding him there would be easy. Today was a different case altogether. After walking the entire center twice, he was still nowhere to be seen. Zell was quickly getting discouraged, though he didn't entirely understand the sense of melancholy he felt. Getting frustrated, he ran towards the dormitory only to run into someone and fall dead on his ass.

"Hey! Watch where you're — the fuck are you doing out of the infirmary, idiot? Didn't you have a concussion?"

Most people would have enough sense to get back on his feet. On the other hand, all Zell could do was sit there in awe and stare up at a man who seemed like a _giant_. Eyes followed to a hand reaching out for him, heart pounding faster somehow. For a moment, they were the only two people in the world and the upcoming trial was nothing but a bad dream that he still had a chance to wake up from.

"Don't be such an ass."

He would have looked more intimidating if he wasn't lying on the floor looking like a deer in headlights. Seifer snickered and retracted his hand, deciding to let the kid suffer alone this time. Their relationship had always been rocky. Not a friendship, and never really able to work together in any sense. What a pity, two overly passionate people having so much in common and not being able to share it.

Zell snapped himself out of his daze and pushed himself off the ground. Despite never being tall enough to truly stand up to Seifer, he always tried his best not to _feel_ small. The easiest way to gaining respect was to demand it and no one could make demands without being at least slightly terrifying. Unfortunately for him, Seifer had always had this _way_ about him to get Zell all flustered and unable to speak.

"You're right, Chicken. I don't have time for you right now. Move."

It was a shame to see the momentary camaraderie dissolve so quickly, though that was to be expected with the two of them. Being friends had never been in the stars for them and the planets didn't seem close to rearranging. Zell had to jog alongside Seifer to keep up as the two worked their way towards the front gate. Garden seemed somehow smaller under the pressure of the trial and that hadn't even begun.

"Hey! Wait, hold up. I know you're leaving for Galbadia. You can't go on your own. Let's run and grab a car from the lot and I'll drive you to Balamb."

"God, you really are an idiot, aren't you?" Seifer shook his head and turned to Zell, stopped in his tracks. "This is _my_ problem. It has nothing to do with Garden, so we can't use Garden resources. I hope you haven't forgotten I'm still the head of the Disciplinary Committee."

Though there wasn't much of anything to be the head _of_ anymore. Raijin and Fujin had yet to be replaced, so it was _only_ Seifer and soon enough there might not even be him. Hyne knows what kind of plans Squall had to get the committee back up and running. On the bright side, that meant a hold on court martials and demotions, but none of that mattered as much as getting through the upcoming weeks with as little heat on Garden as possible.

There were concerns across the board that bringing Seifer back into the world's spotlight would mean Garden once again coming under fire and none of them were prepared to lose their home. After the orphanage, Garden had become their community, their _world_. The people there, students and staff alike, were not only friends but family. Being there meant having a group of people who would walk with you into anything, as proven how far Squall and his team went to help end the war. Not all of that should have ever been on the six of them.

"Then I'll walk with you, at least. It'll be dark soon and you don't want to get ambushed between here and town."

It wouldn't be _that_ inconvenient. Zell didn't have anything to do in the morning, and he could always spend a night at home with his ma. What he _couldn't_ do was let Seifer think that he was alone now. Neither of them had ever been that good at making friends, but lately it had been a completely different story. They weren't even _trying_. Without a war to keep them on edge, everyone had become complacent. Zell's most important SeeD mission had been taking some of the townspeople to the forest to pick berries and he was only there to make sure they didn't get hurt.

"Fine." Seifer sighed. "But you gotta keep up. I'm not stopping if you fall behind."

After that, they walked silently for a few minutes. Zell could _feel_ people staring, which only made him uncomfortable. It must have been just as weird for his classmates to see him walking with Seifer as it was for him to be _doing_ it. Even beyond the gates of Garden, however, it was _strange_. Just the two of them walking to the other side of the island as if they _were_ friends, and maybe that's what they were becoming.

None of the monsters along the path were all that scary. There were some bite bugs lurking around and a glacial eye here and there, but nothing that couldn't be easily taken care of. Around halfway there, both boys still had most of their energy to get them through when Seifer stepped off the path and headed for the trees. It was Zell who froze, eyes wide in confusion rather than fear, though it was natural to be concerned about what they might encounter.

"We can't go in there, man."

Seifer rolled his eyes. It was such a burden to be the bravest man on the squad, and what a shame it was that he wasn't the SeeD of the two of them. That was a wrong that had yet to be righted. He didn't slow down in his detour to the woods.

"It'll be quicker. Don't be such a chicken wuss."

"It won't be quicker if we get _killed_. T-Rexaur stays in the forest."

Seifer wasn't afraid, though. He did most of his training against T-Rexaur because of the _rush_ associated with finding him. That moment of _I'm gonna die_ that boosted your adrenaline. Granted, he usually had his friends with him, but running scared wasn't going to get him anything. Maybe this could be a chance to prove that he _deserved_ to become a SeeD, too. Screw not listening to orders being such a terrible offense.

"If you're scared, you can go home. I've got this."

Huffing out a breath, Zell followed after the man, but was incredibly frustrated. The first few minutes of being in the forest had him grumbling to himself under his breath, rolling his eyes and thinking about how _dumb_ his new friend was. With just the two of them, standing up to T-Rexaur would be hard and the only chance they had was not to find him, or for him not to find them.

They had nothing more to talk about, which only made for an uncomfortable stroll after the sun went down. Visibility had dissolved almost entirely, leaving them to rely entirely on their ability to hear each other move. Part of Zell felt like this was secretly an elaborate plan to give Seifer a chance to murder him, which he would have believed if this upcoming trial wasn't a sure thing. He knew that it was actually a big deal.

All of the world leaders would be meeting to help decide Seifer's fate. Laguna had already vouched for him once, but only on account of Squall claiming he'd been blackmailed and he wasn't "the absolute worst" like everyone thought. The issue was that, at least as far as Zell was concerned, he _was_ the absolute worst. A growl snapped him from his thoughts and immediately he took a fighting stance, looking around for anything that moved. Seifer's hand hovered at the ready above the handle of his gunblade.

Another growl shook the ground and Zell stumbled towards his partner, unable to find his footing. With one hand, Seifer pulled out his blade and with the other he pushed against Zell to keep him upright. Another moment of fumbling around left them back-to-back, size difference evident as Zell's head rested back between Seifer's shoulder blades. His hands were balled into fists, but shook with an uncertainty he usually didn't have. A tail swept across the trees, just barely missing the boys.

"I told you we shouldn't have gone in the fucking forest!"

"Shut up and man up. You ready to fight?"

Zell didn't have time to answer before the were charged head on, both getting knocked to the ground. Seifer's blade flew from his hand, landing several feet away and leaving him vulnerable. Zell stepped between the taller man and the monster, giving Seifer a chance to crawl for his weapon, but he took a hit. Face bloodied, he somehow managed to stand his ground and he ran forward to hit T-Rexaur.

Though there was a serious impact, the damage seemed minimal to the dinosaur before him, and yet his own knuckles hurt from the contact. Swiftly, Seifer stepped amidst the combat and took a swing for the monster. Blood rained from T-Rexaur's chest, though it was a shallow cut and would only give them a moment of freedom. Sheathing his blade, he took Zell by the hand and began to run, easily pulling the shorter boy alongside him.

Both men ran as fast as they could, breaths heavy and giving away their position more-so than their stepping on twigs and leaves. Their fingers entwined without either realizing it was happening, too concerned with the sound of giant footsteps behind them. Slowing down and getting trampled wasn't an option, but Zell found his chest only getting tighter by the minute and breathing in general became nearly impossible.

Hustling back out of the forest, the boys barely made it to the road before T-Rexaur turned around and they collapsed right there on the ground, Zell lying down on his back and Seifer taking a seat with his legs crossed. Both took the minute to capture their breath, but _neither_ took enough time to realize that their hands were still connected, too engrossed in the relief that they hadn't just died.

"I'm never going anywhere with you ever again," Zell joked between heavy breaths, a smile on his face despite the situation.

Seifer laughed it off, only noticing their hands when he leaned back and yanked Zell towards him. They both paused and made eye contact, curious how something like that could happen, but still they stayed connected. The silence that washed over them was somehow cleansing and it allowed them not to be concerned with _whatever_ it was going on that they didn't quite understand.

The quiet was comforting. Zell found himself with his head in Seifer's lap, eyes closed and holding Seifer's hand close to his chest just above his heart. Though his heart rate was still off the charts, he felt _settled_ and _almost_ calm. His free hand came to clasp their joined ones, a light smile gracing his lips, though he would never admit that it had anything to do with Seifer. No, that smile was _purely_ an expression of him being glad he didn't get eaten by a dinosaur.

Meanwhile, Seifer slumped his shoulders and allowed himself to hunch over the boy in his lap, his own free hand becoming tangled in the smaller boy's hair. No smile was found on his lips, instead a look of concern at Zell's sudden comfort there with him. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. They weren't _allowed_ to have attachments. Soldiers went into battle never knowing if they would come home and he couldn't let himself have a friend in Zell if they were both likely to die any day, especially given the likelihood he'd receive a death sentence in Galbadia.

Standing abruptly, Seifer left Zell to fall to the ground before he brushed off the front of his pants and soldiered back up, expression steely and determined. Zell, though initially shocked when his head hit the pavement, stood up and wiped some of the blood away from his face with his forearm. Likely, he had a broken nose and none of this helped the concussion that he _did_ have, but even that wasn't much of a concern to him. In the moment, he believed that they _were_ in fact friends and that was a nice feeling.

The rest of the walk was quiet and they both moved slowly, focusing on the light from the town to get them there. After ten minutes, they made it to the gate of the town and sauntered in, walking past the gas station and ending up on the bench outside of the weapons shop. Though they sat on opposite sides as best they could, their knees touched. Zell leaned his head back against the brick wall behind them with Seifer sitting up as straight as he could, staring off into the ocean on the horizon, worried that this would be his last sight of the place that had become his home.

"You should know that none of this was necessary," Seifer began quietly. "You didn't owe me anything just because I saved your ass yesterday."

A small shrug on Zell's part was barely noticeable by Seifer, though he let his eyes close. There was a certain comfort between the two of them sitting there together and he found himself at a peace for the first time in years.

"It's not that. I'd have done this for any of my friends."

The friendly air was torn like a veil in an instant, Seifer tensing as his eyes shot open. Clearing his throat, he stood, shoving his hands in his pockets and staring expressionless at a confused Zell, face obscured by the blood from his nose. Seifer knew it was his fault, the injuries they'd both sustained, and it really was a pity that after rescuing Zell the night before he had only inflicted deeper wounds on the boy.

"I think you have the wrong idea. We're not friends."

With that, Seifer walked away, leaving down the hill towards the inn. Zell was left on the bench alone, shocked and empty. He should have known it was too good to be true. Seifer had always been fine on his own and the two of them had never seen being friends in the cards. They were opposites, better off on different sides. Maybe the war never should have ended with both of them alive.

Sighing, Zell forced himself back on his feet and limped his way to his house, knocking on the locked door since he didn't have his key. In his defense, it had been in his room so he didn't lose it while training and he hadn't thought about it when he changed this morning. He forced himself to smile through the pain when his ma opened the door, the shock on her face enough to make him feel guilty for thinking he could have gotten out of an encounter with Seifer unarmed. She pulled him inside, immediately grabbing a towel from under the sink and pressing it to his cheek.

"Ma, _Ma_ , I'm fine." It was mostly a lie, but he grabbed the towel from her and opted to press it to his face himself. "Sorry to just... _show up_. Can I stay here tonight?"

Putting her forefinger under Zell's chin, Ma Dincht gave him a look over. His eyes were unfocused and distant, as if he weren't really there. The bridge of his nose had a gash where the bleeding was from and one of his eyes was bruised. At this point, he wasn't sure which injuries were from T-Rexaur and which were from the accident the night before. His lips still _felt_ blue.

"What happened to you? I thought you didn't have any missions right now."

"I don't. I was getting Seifer to the train station. He leaves for his trial in the morning and it was getting too late for him to make the walk here alone."

She grew visibly disdained, collecting ice cubes in a plastic bag and pressing it to Zell's eye before walking him to the other room and forcing him to sit. Mentioning Seifer and then showing up covered in blood obviously didn't sit well with her, but Zell wasn't sure he _did_ blame Seifer. It had been his decision to tag along and he could have turned around and gone home once Seifer decided he wanted to go through the woods, the _idiot_.

"Did he do this to you? That boy had _better_ end up behind bars if this is how he treats people trying to help him."

Her words pierced through Zell's thoughts, leaving him with a knot in his stomach. Seifer had always deserved jail time for how he treated people, but there was something wrong with how _this_ felt. He'd been brainwashed into helping Ultimecia. None of what happened during the war was his own fault directly, except for kidnapping President Deling, but then again it had been _Zell's_ fault they got caught for that.

"We ran into some enemies, it's nothing. I'm just not up for the walk back to Garden tonight."

Her expression softened somehow, maybe knowing he was lying and just trying to protect Seifer further. Lying to her never had been an option. From the day she adopted him she had been able to see right through him, and they had always been close. Most people didn't get the opportunity to choose their family, but she, of all people, had chosen _him_ , a scrawny little boy barely making it in the orphanage. She had always seen the best in him, and that's what she saw now by him sticking up for someone who consistently disappointed him.

"This is your _home_ , son. You can stay here whenever you want. Why don't you go get your clothes and I'll get the shower ready for you. We need to get you cleaned up. I can make you a snack."

A smile accompanied a small nod, though Zell only felt dizzier and dizzier by the minute. He wasn't in a place to let his mother know that. All he needed to do was get through one night and then he could go back to school and back to the infirmary. As she walked away, he left for his room upstairs. It was sparkling clean and it was obvious his mother had taken care of it while he was gone. In that sense, his room felt almost unfamiliar. Of course, it was his first time staying there since the end of the war, so he was unused to being there.

His punching bags still hung in their respect corners of the room, bed made neatly in all white, and magazines organized by volume and topic. Combat magazines were on the left of his shelf, being the most important to him, with Timber Maniacs volumes all the way to the right. Separating them were magazines about science and history, his secondary passions. There was nothing more exciting than learning about what was going on in the world. He liked to stay connected.

A hand dragged across the top of his desk as he reminisced over the years he'd spent in the room. As much as he loved his dorm at Garden, there was something more _personal_ about his room here. Maybe it was just a deeper attachment since it had been his first official room. The orphanage was small enough that they'd all had to share rooms and he'd never had privacy until he came to Balamb.

Picking out a shirt and a pair of shorts, he carried clean clothes downstairs to the bathroom to clean himself up. It wasn't anything _new_ , cleaning blood off of himself two days in a row, or that it was his second time that day alone changing out of bloodstained clothes. The water was _scalding_ and left him wishing he had just taken a washcloth and cleaned himself slowly.

After the shower, he found himself staring in the mirror at his injuries. His nose was potentially broken, eye blackened, and he looked _exhausted_. The tiredness added at least ten years to his face and he barely recognized himself. A sigh spoke his concerns to no one and he left the bathroom with only one goal: to try and get more than an hour of sleep that night.

 _End Chapter Two_


	3. Divided

_Chapter Three: Divided_

Waking up in his old room felt _strange_ , though he couldn't quite explain it. The boy who used to stay there every night was gone and somehow the man he had become felt like he wasn't a part of the house anymore. Like it wasn't _quite_ his home, but a good replica of it. Trying to stand was a struggle with the headache he had, but that was to be expected. Black spots in his vision kept him from walking in a straight line, instead collapsing in the middle of his floor. Despite trying to catch himself on the desk, all he managed was to pull everything off of it onto the floor with him.

A gasp was audible from the floor below and he heard his mother run up the stairs. Her attentiveness would have been appreciated under normal circumstances, but he felt so _weak_ and couldn't blame Seifer for as much of it as he wanted to. Once Zell was back on his feet, he pushed Ma away and used his desk as a foundation to hold himself up. He didn't want her to feel like he was worse off than he was: standing was easy, after all. It was _staying_ standing that he needed some help with.

"Oh honey! You shouldn't be up on your feet. You can barely move. You shouldn't be trying to go back to Garden right now."

He sighed. She had a point. He'd come here with Seifer, but going home he was on his own. Granted, he'd be smart enough not to walk through the woods, but it would still feel forever away and he couldn't swat away every bite bug on the plains. He'd pass out of exhaustion or dizziness before he even got to the front gates. Taking her offered hand had been embarrassing, but he accepted it and leaned on her as much as he could without feeling like his weight was too much. It felt different to leaning on Seifer. With her, he didn't feel safe or secure. With _her_ , he felt like a _burden_.

"We'll go rent a car and I'll drive you to school. You can't walk _anywhere_ like this."

There was no point in arguing. He didn't really have the energy too. Maybe he had lost too much blood the night before and all of this was just low iron. Eating would fix him right up. Ma would get him to the infirmary and then maybe Kadowaki would get him some hot dogs. So he let her guide him down the stairs slowly and leave for the door. They yelled quickly at their neighbors that they were leaving and they'd be back later, but all Zell could do was look towards the train station and wonder how the ride was going. It must have felt awful to be on a train to your own execution.

Zell ended up paying for the car with his SeeD money and the drive back to Garden was short. Ma kept one hand against his forehead to check his temperature and when they got to the parking lot she helped him limp inside. Irvine saw the two coming down the hall and jogged over, quickly putting an arm around Zell and holding him up so that his ma didn't have to.

"What happened t'you? Did Seifer do this? That asshole. I swear, I'll —"

"Stop." The command was quiet only on account of his weakness. "It doesn't matter what happened, I just need to get to the infirmary."

The answer obviously displeased Irvine, but he nodded anyway and the three of them walked to the other side of school and got him back into a bed in the infirmary. Irvine sat by his side while Ma Dincht talked to Kadowaki about what was going on, though she didn't know in its entirety either. Zell could _feel_ the malice in Irvine's gaze, the _worry_ that honestly wasn't necessary. Even if it had been Seifer's fault, he was at least in Timber by now, if not already between there and Galbadia Garden, but he wouldn't be in Deling City for the official first day of trial until tomorrow.

"You didn't tell any of us you were walkin' him to Balamb. Selphie was concerned when we couldn't find you and we all thought Quistis was gonna cry."

Zell groaned at the thought of Quistis being so afraid of him dying that she would cry without even knowing if he had. That wasn't what he wanted, people to cry when he left. Especially knowing that he wasn't the first student for Quistis to show some type of interest in. Granted, he knew how hard things were on her. She was seventeen and teaching kids her own age, sometimes older with people like Seifer. It was natural to like people in your age group. But he didn't understand how she could go from crushing on Squall to latching on to _him_.

Of course, they _had_ both been in the missile base with Selphie when it blew up. Being trapped in the Galbadian _missile robot_ , as he called it, was certainly a bonding experience for the three of them. It had been close quarters for two days until they found themselves in FH and even then it was only by luck that Squall turned out being there too. Hell, coming out of all that and finding out that Garden could move at all was like waking up in an alternate universe. Cool, but kind of freaky.

"I didn't plan on taking him, but he was going alone and I didn't have time to thank him if I didn't follow."

Some plan that had been. He still didn't end up saying thank you at all. Their adventure had only ended with Zell feeling worse about himself than he had in the beginning. What a waste. How he'd ever thought the two of them could have been friends was beyond him. Seifer wasn't one to bury hatchets; all he ever did was burn bridges and watch his friends blow up. Frowning, Zell shot his gaze to the floor and hoped that Irvine couldn't tell who he was thinking about.

"Yeah, well, how'd that go for ya? Now you're back here again and you look like death."

"Oh, fuck _off_. If you don't wanna be here, you can leave."

He would have turned over to protest Irvine's staring at him had moving not been so damn hard.

"I'll tell Squall you're back in here and I'll come back when you settle down some."

Swallowing hard, Zell nodded and watched as he was left alone in silence. Without someone there to yell at him, he had no choice but to let his mind wander back to the boy who had gotten him stuck in there to begin with. Back to the boy who had tormented him for over a decade. The boy who had been so _angry_ at the world that he tried to destroy it. He closed his eyes, letting out a shaky breath, and cursed himself for overthinking it all. He just wanted to have some peace for once in his life. And maybe, just maybe, if he kept his eyes closed he could find it.

* * *

By the time Zell woke up, a day had passed. Kadowaki had used medicine to keep him asleep for a while, but he was allowed to wake up on his own the next afternoon. His eyes blinked open as his brain slowly began to register his surroundings once more. He could feel tape on his nose, pressing a bandage he didn't need to a wound that had been all sewn up. He'd assumed three or four stitches, nothing drastic, but the light was powerful to the point he wasn't sure he could trust any of his thoughts with the pain pounding against his skull.

Eyes falling slowly to the wall beside him, he inhaled sharply at the sight of Seifer himself sitting on the other side of the glass. Their eyes met and Seifer mouthed something that Zell didn't understand. Slowly, he reached out a hand hoping the other man would walk around and come find him, but a cough broke his concentration. His gaze darted to Quistis, who was sitting in the stool beside his bed, and when he looked back through the glass Seifer was just _gone_. He couldn't help but feel like he was going crazy.

"Are you okay, Zell?"

Her question was accompanied by a _touch_ on his arm. Light, meant for comfort, but offered nothing of the sort. He pulled his arm back to his size and pushed himself up on his elbows. There was no end to the confusion in his expression as they sat there. How long had she been watching him sleep? Where _was_ Seifer? Had he been out long? What was Squall doing that he couldn't be there, too? The questions piled up and overwhelmed him. There was nothing he could do but hope and pray that this was all some strange anesthesia dream.

"What time is it? Did Ma go home? Where's —" Common sense stopped the rest of his question. Asking about Seifer now wouldn't solve any of his problems, but it might cause _more_ of them. "Is everyone okay?"

Quistis giggled at him, which annoyed him more than anything. With everything that was going on, he didn't see much to laugh at. He didn't get what was so amusing for _her_ considering she was still in there looking at her friend who'd been smacked to a pulp by a forest creature. The aggravation must have been evident because she covered her mouth with her hand for a moment and muttered a quiet apology.

"Sorry, I know this is sensitive. I'm glad you're okay." That didn't answer _any_ of his questions. "It's four o'clock. You've been sleeping since yesterday. Your mother's back in Balamb, but I told her we'd let her know when you woke up. Doctor Kadowaki is on a house call, but she'll be right back and yes, everyone's fine. We're all just worried about you."

If nothing else, Zell had to give her credit for her compassion. She had been nice enough to wait there and keep him updated even though he was constantly up in arms and getting them all in trouble. It didn't hurt that she had beautiful eyes, either. At least there was something to look at. But that wasn't why either of them were there and he didn't quite know what to tell her. Naturally, he felt she shouldn't be worried about him, but considering he'd been carried into the infirmary twice in three days, it was hard to look _anyone_ in the eye and say he'd be fine.

"Seifer said we're not friends."

He hadn't meant to say it. This conversation had no place here. It was between him and Seifer, but her eyes softened and it didn't seem as much like an attack this time. Zell relaxed his shoulders a little bit and allowed himself a minute vulnerability in front of her. She smiled as if that in itself were an apology.

"That Seifer, never changes." They'd always been like that. Growing up together, Seifer had always been rude to Zell and Quistis had always been the one trying to bridge the gap between the two boys. She knew them better than they knew themselves. But she had a point. Over all these years, Seifer hadn't really changed at all. "He's been through a lot this year and with Fujin and Raijin leaving for Galbadia, it's probably just easier for him to be alone right now. Give it some time and if you want to be his friend, he'll let you."

Zell scoffed a the thought. There wasn't enough _time_ for them to become friends. Pretty soon, Seifer would be in a prison cell waiting for his execution day. Frankly, Zell didn't see a way around that. With everyone Seifer had helped hurt, it would be a _miracle_ if he got anything less than a death sentence and he wasn't about to go visit somebody on death row just to try and make amends. He wasn't the one who needed forgiving, _that_ was Seifer. And he could forgive Seifer if he needed to. Holding on to the anger wouldn't get either of them anywhere.

"We've _all_ been through a lot this year and we've all _lost_ a lot too. He doesn't get special treatment just because he was busy being a sorry _ass_ the whole time."

Her hand fell in his and he couldn't help but stare as she entangled their fingers. It felt... _wrong_. Like the pieces didn't fit the puzzle. When he had been laying on the ground with Seifer, the way their hands fit, was somehow more natural than even _this_. He didn't understand it, but he knew how to tell the difference between their touches. Existing with Seifer would have been a lot easier than sitting here like he was.

"You have to let go at some point. He followed his heart. We all did. It was never meant to cause so much chaos."

Zell frowned and looked away. Her eyes looked like Seifer's and staring at them only made the knot in his stomach grow. It was amazing how he could be so concerned about someone that had gone _out of their way_ to ruin his life. Seifer was right: they _weren't_ friends. If Quistis was sure that they _could_ be at some point, then Zell didn't want them to get there. Things were easier on his own, maybe that's why Seifer left in the first place. Maybe he _could_ understand Seifer leaving him like that, bloodied and alone.

"Can you go? I want to be alone for a little while."

She sighed, concern seeping through her features, and he got that. It made sense to be sad about getting kicked out, but nodded regardless. She gently pressed her lips to his forehead — an odd sensation that he couldn't say he particularly cared for — and left without another word. Once again, he was alone. And once again, all he could think about was the simple fact that Seifer had just left on his own for a journey likely to end in his death.

Maybe he wasn't the one who needed to be cooped up in a protective room.

* * *

It was the next morning before Zell got released. He could finally see without black spots tainting his vision and the dizziness had mostly subsided. There was still a bandage over his nose and he still looked like a zombie with his shoulders slumped and a deep frown in place. His hands were shoved loosely in his pockets and his gaze stayed fixated on the ground.

Slinking over to the cafeteria, Zell grabbed a tray of food and collapsed at a table, anxiously watching the screen to wait for Seifer's trial to show up. It probably wasn't a good idea for him to watch, he would only be hurting himself, but he felt _connected_ to the issue and to the man in question. Rather than eat, he crossed his arms on top of the table and used them as a pillow. Everything he had going on was beginning to hurt his brain. Why did he want to be friends with Seifer so bad in the first place?

Groaning, he barely noticed someone call his name, but eventually looked up to see Nida and Xu join him at the table. In all honesty, he didn't understand why either of them had stayed after the war. Nida still just piloted Garden when they traveled, but he didn't get SeeD missions as a result of him needing to be there in case Garden needed to go mobile. Xu was running a majority of Garden's day-to-day operations, but didn't really get to have a _life_.

"Hey guys. What are you doing here?"

"Same thing as you. Eat and watch the trial."

Zell didn't know how Nida could be so calm about it. Even Xu was smiling a little bit, as if this didn't have her in a down spiral. He didn't know how he could ever have ended up the most concerned about Seifer's wellbeing. If nothing else, at least he knew how to break out of Galbadia's highest security prison. That could be replicated one way or another.

"I can't believe it's been a month already." That wasn't surprising; Xu often got so engrossed in work that she lost track of time. "I didn't think it was time yet. I can't believe I didn't say goodbye."

Groaning, Zell pinched the bridge of his nose without thinking about his stitches. The action caused him to grimace and bite his lip. _That_ was what happened to those who said goodbye to Seifer. They ended up bloody and broken and feeling worse than they had been just days before. More and more he began to wish that Seifer had just let him drown in the training center to begin with. Screw an honorable death fighting for his Garden.

"Shut up, it's starting."

Zell sat up straighter, locking on to the image now crossing the screen. It looked just as uncomfortable in the council room as he'd been feeling all week. Seifer was handcuffed to a table with Cid sitting in the front row just behind him. It was kind of strange how Seifer almost felt like the headmaster's son. After all, Cid and Edea were the only adults he seemed to respect at all. It must have been stressful for Cid to have both of them on trial, though Zell didn't entirely understand why they were being tried separately.

 _"Defense, how do you plead?"_

 _"Innocent."_

Even sitting there, defenseless, Seifer looked confident and smooth. Zell didn't see how. It was hard enough to be confident when he was fighting, but being out in front of all those people and being _judged_? He wouldn't have been able to do it. He ran a hand down his face and tried to block out the trial. The only chance Seifer had at not being executed was to plead innocent. He understood that. But was there even a winnable defense there? Maybe the best shot they all had was Seifer pleading guilty, apologizing, and hoping they took it easy on him.

Except they weren't _going_ to take it easy on him after the war he'd started. Zell groaned again, rubbing his palms into his eyes. Caring about this trial was frustrating and it hurt that there wasn't anything he could do about it. He had to suffer through the ordeal like everybody else and that meant stifling his feelings, at least for a little while, so that he could resist getting into fights about it. Maybe he could ask for an assignment.

At that thought, he perked up a bit. An assignment could genuinely help him get his mind off of Seifer and Galbadia. Even if it was something simple like getting someone's cat off their roof _again_ , it would help kill time, and he wasn't allowed to be in the training center for at least a week anyway. He blinked and tried to refocus on the screen, but it didn't look good. All of the spectators seemed angry and the jurors were simply uninterested.

With a case as big as this one, everyone had clearly already made up their minds for what they felt about Seifer's fate. Everyone except for Zell had. He still didn't know how to feel. All he knew was that he was _afraid_ of the outcome. If Seifer was executed then he'd never have the chance to make amends, but if he wasn't then Zell would have to learn to continue living with the man. God, what a bummer.

But the _real_ spectacle in the courtroom, more than any sense of wonder of intrigue as to what would happen, was Seifer himself. He'd somehow come to look regretful, as though he were ready to accept the blame and his punishment regardless of his plea. He looked like a kicked puppy, all alone. What a shame that a city as nice as Deling would be the home of a local death sentence.

"Do you guys think he has a chance to win this thing?"

Zell's question was met with laughter and a sorry shake of the head. That was all the answer he needed.

 _End Chapter Three_


	4. Pursuit

_Chapter Four: Pursuit_

Day one of the trial had gone terribly. Zell found sleeping to be impossible that night, too worked up at the thought of Seifer sitting alone in a prison cell waiting for yet another day of hell in the courtroom. The cycle was already exhausting and he wasn't quite sure how any of them were expected to make it through. Garden was under scrutiny by those who believed their school was the party _truly_ responsible for everything that had happened, that Cid and his staff had _bred_ the monster known as Seifer Almasy.

In an attempt to get away from all the pressure, Zell had taken the initiative to request a mission. _Any_ mission, big or small. They hadn't been getting many of them in the post-war world, but he needed something and even something as simple as keeping goats on their proper lawn would be enough for him. His shoulders were slumped, eyebrows knitted together at the rejection. If anyone would understand him needing to get away, it was Squall, but he couldn't fight for it with Nida, Xu, and Quistis all hanging out in the office. Staring, judging.

"Squall, man, _please_ , just... if you get _anything_ , **anything** , give it to me, okay? I can't — I can't stay. I'm going crazy here."

Squall sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, turning to face the window and look over at the ocean. Running Garden was harder mobile. All the students wanted to explore and all their parents wanted them to be locked down, to have an address, to be available. Zell understood that Squall was already making the hard decisions, but he was also the one to go to when issues arose.

"There's nothing I can do," Squall spoke regretfully as he turned back to face Zell. "I'll let you know if something comes up. Sit tight until then. I'm sure Selphie would love some help with the party she's organizing, you could go and offer your help there."

Jaw clenching, Zell pulled his arm away from Quistis' hand when she reached out to apologize. His fingers curled and uncurled twice, eyes solidly connected to the floor. The last party they'd done at Garden was the night he passed his SeeD exam and he somehow let himself spend the night with Seifer. The last party he'd _been_ to was the one they held at FH and the only reason he stayed all night was the fact that he was performing in it. For all the distraction it was, he still hadn't been able to stop thinking about Seifer or the war for a moment.

And now she was planning a party while their colleague was in the middle of a trial. It just didn't seem _right_ to him, trying to celebrate knowing what was happening in Galbadia. Knowing that there was nothing any of them could do that wouldn't just cause more trouble. Knowing that no one cared about the orphan boy who had been taken advantage of by a powerful sorceress. Most importantly, knowing that everyone saw Seifer as guilty, _no questions asked_ , and they hadn't been there to see any of it for themselves.

"Look, man, I _get_ it. You're my superior now and that's seriously cool, but throwing a _party_ together right now is... is—is just _fuckin' rude_. We just let Seifer leave on his own to go get his ass beat by the folks in Deling. There's nothing to be _happy_ about right now. He's our _friend_ , isn't he?"

That was no way to speak to Squall now that he was the commander. It was inappropriate to speak out of turn, but that had always been Zell. Hotheaded, ready to speak his mind. His anger only grew as Quistis stepped closer, an arm wrapped around him and a hand placed on either of his biceps, always meant to be comforting. There was no rhyme or reason for why their closeness made him so angry or uncomfortable, but he only tensed further having her there. She was supposed to be his _teacher_ , not his girlfriend... right?

He shook his head and snaked out of her hold on him. Now wasn't a time to debate whether or not she was a viable option for a girlfriend. He'd come to seek a solution to his Seifer problem and wasn't about to leave with more problems than he'd had already. Nida looked almost afraid he'd only get angrier and Xu took a defensive position as if he were actively trying to start a fight. Even Quistis took the hint and stepped back, but no one dared to get in between the two men. There was no quick solution. Nothing that would matter in the long run.

"We'll keep an eye on the trial and if it doesn't go well for Seifer, we'll postpone the party. The live feed will run in the cafeteria and in the quad, so you're welcome to watch if you're curious. If Seifer's released, the party will be to welcome him home. Otherwise, we'll give it a week and let Selphie and the others have their fun. If you have any other concerns, talk to Xu or Quistis first. I'm sorry, but we can't stop our lives just because of one student."

Zell scoffed, defensively taking a fighting pose with one foot sliding back for balance. He hadn't noticed his own stance change until Squall reached for his gunblade. Zell groaned and forced himself to stand up straight again, though his nails dug painfully into his palms despite the low slump in his shoulders. To a point, he could understand. Most of their lives were completely unaffected by Seifer and Galbadia now that the war was over. The thing that drove him crazy was knowing that none of them _had_ lives now that the sorceress had been defeated. Until Garden restructured, there was no point to what they were doing and the fact that no one would hire them only proved that.

"Seifer's gonna die an' you don't even care!"

If he hadn't already crossed the line, he certainly had now, but rather than face the music he quickly moved to the lift and took it down, leaving the command crew looking shocked alone on their podium. There wasn't enough time to care about it; he needed to get to the training center and punch something until he collapsed again. Anything to get his mind off of the real issue at hand.

Trouble came when he realized being in the training center only made him think of Seifer and his fate _more_. Just days prior, the man had saved his ass and he hadn't been thankful enough for it. Sighing, he dropped his fists and kicked a stone into the pond before leaving for the quad instead. It was a nice day to sit outside and watch more of the trial like everyone else. At least he could convince himself that other people cared as much as he did. They _didn't_ , but he could pretend.

 _"Now, Mr. Almasy, are we to believe you were_ not _in control, in spite of your history of violence as a student? How should we believe attacking the president was the last act performed at your own discretion?"_

Zell swore to himself, taking a seat in the back showing no concern at the possibility he'd fall off. Maybe then his guilt could die with him. There weren't many good talking points when it came to Seifer: he couldn't lead, or control his emotions, or be a _decent_ human being for even five seconds. That meant the prosecution had plenty of ammo to bring him down, but he'd be able to take at least a few shots...

 _"That's correct. After my idiot training partner announced that we were from Garden, I pulled the president to the back and was greeted by the sorceress. She talked me into following her and then... I don't know. I did everything she asked without question."_

 _"So you admit that you willingly followed her?"_

 _"I don't know. There was kind of a lot going on, I don't remember exactly what I was thinking."_

 _"Let the record show that Mr. Almasy claimed he did go with the sorceress_ before _she allegedly took control of his mind."_

Zell's chest tightened. Things seemed to just get worse by the minute. It was a miracle that, with all of their training, none of it was preparation for _this_. There was no SeeD class telling what to do if you got caught by the opposing government, if you had to be _blamed_ for something. It wasn't fair to throw a kid up there and expect it to go well... But Seifer wasn't a kid anymore. He was almost nineteen, almost _too old_ to become a SeeD. No, their childhoods were long over. The nights of laughing and drinking without a care in the world were over.

Eyes focused on the screen, everything somehow faded out into black.

* * *

 _"Yo! S'up, Squall? Heh, we're both SeeDs now. Pretty cool, huh?" Zell reached out for a handshake. "Put it there, man." An awkward moment passed as Squall took a sip of his drink, obviously ignoring the smaller boy in front of him. Recovering from the disappointment, Zell put a hand on either hip and shook his head, lowering it a bit. "Hah, even as a SeeD you're still the same. Well, I guess some things never change. See ya!"_

 _He had run off with a salute, physically bumping into Selphie on his way across the dance floor._

 _"Oh... Hey, Zell. Wanna join the Garden Festival committee and..."_

 _Fumbling to regain both his balance and composure, Zell spat out his words._

 _"Sorry! I... ahh... Just remembered something. G-Gotta go. Bye!"_

 _And he moved on like a tornado, not stopping until he tripped in the doorway. Looking up, he groaned and reluctantly pushed himself back on his feet. Standing before him was one Seifer Almasy, always fashionably late to the party. It was nice to see the smirk on his face hadn't been washed off in light of his utter humiliation after the exam. But he'd deserved it with how he led his squad into battles they had no business being in._

 _"I'm surprised you showed up. Isn't it kind of embarrassing that everyone in your squad graduated..._ except _for you?"  
_

 _Seifer rolled his eyes, but didn't really show any other interest or amount of care. Truth be told, he wouldn't have shown up if it wasn't for his meeting with Rinoa. Standing in a room full of people with a title he wasn't allowed to have wasn't exactly his idea of a fun night, but he kept up the facade. None of them needed to see how affected by it he was and they didn't need to know how much he actually cared._

 _"Isn't it kind of embarrassing that I have a girl in there waiting for me and all you have is leftover food in your dorm and your own hand?"_

 _Furious, Zell's mouth opened, but was left standing alone in defeat. A moment's delay put him behind Seifer but didn't stop him from following the man, though he stood on the edge of the dance floor and watched as he ended up with a beautiful girl he'd never seen before. How did Seifer know her and did she even go to Garden? The sight of it all made Zell feel sick._

 _He'd retreated to the cafeteria to eat his stress away and it had been going great until Seifer showed up and immediately started yelling at him for being out after curfew. It wasn't the_ right _thing to do, sneaking into the cafeteria and making his own food in the middle of the night, but it was what he needed. Seifer coming in only made him angrier. All the frustrations he'd swallowed came back up like a bad burrito._

 _"You're out after hours too, asshole! Mind your own damn business."_

 _"Oh, shh, Chicken-wuss. Don't be such a baby. I'll play nice for a minute if you can."_

 _Zell doubted that, but the gap between them was closing slowly with every step Seifer stumbled. Zell found himself sitting on a table, another offense to the code of conduct, and hands were on either side of him with Seifer's face only inches from his own. It was obvious that Seifer had had a few too many glasses of champagne, likely in trying to ignore his failures once again._

 _"You're drunk, man. You should go to your dorm before you do something stupid and get yourself in more trouble."_

 _"Not that drunk," Seifer whispered with a small shrug and then he leaned in._

 _Zell felt the other man's lips on his and let his eyes close, one hand coming up to grip Seifer's shoulder for support. The kiss went on for a minute until Seifer parted his lips enough to run his tongue along the gap between Zell's own lips. Immediately snapping his eyes open, Zell kneed the taller man in the groin and jumped from the table, ready to storm out. He only stopped once he'd put a few yards between them and even then he was on high alert._

 _"What the_ fuck _, Chickie?"_

 _Breathing hard, Zell looked on with wide eyes at how much pain Seifer seemed to be in. The man was hunched over and coughing, an arm pressed to his stomach as if to balance himself. 'What the fuck' indeed. There had been nothing wrong with the kiss, except that it came out of nowhere and Seifer was drunk and Zell didn't even like the other man in any way. They were enemies and had never given any indication of becoming anything else._

 _"I said it already, you're drunk and you should go home."_

 _His voice wavered, as if he only half believed that was what he wanted. The feeling of the kiss lingered and left his lips feeling empty, but the distance between them was supposed to be for the best. Seifer had just proven he was incapable of staying in line, being a good man, and this night was supposed to be special for Zell. A night to celebrate the man he'd become and give his family something to be proud of. There was a time and a place for experimentation and this wasn't it._

 _"You..." Seifer began, pushing himself up and taking a few steps towards Zell, "were enjoying the kiss. Don't end it like this."_

 _Zell watched Seifer get closer and knew he should have walked away, ran through the halls screaming bloody murder just so he didn't have to be alone with his bully. All he wanted was a single moment alone in his dorm room to think about this and figure out what he wanted, but Seifer had a point. He was enjoying the kiss and there was something captivating about the taller man's eyes and how_ blue _they were._

 _"I have to go find Squall and show him his new dorm. We're being moved to the singles since we're SeeDs now."_

 _"Let me stay with you."_

 _The space between the boys disappeared again and Seifer took Zell's hand in his own, taking another half-step forward and leaning down to press a kiss to the shorter man's shoulder. Zell's eyes closed and he allowed himself to fall against Seifer's chest, though only momentarily. Stepping away, he cleared his throat and shoved both hands in his pockets._

 _"You're such an asshole," but it was followed by a quiet "come on, hurry up" that meant yes._

 _They walked the halls hand-in-hand sneaking around corners to get Seifer into Zell's room undetected and as soon as he'd laid down, Zell left to wait for Squall. By the time he got back, Seifer was asleep so he'd curled up beside the taller man and followed suit, only to wake up alone like every other day, disappointed._

* * *

While the _feeling_ of a hit to the should registered, it took Zell a few moments of blinking to finally snap back into reality. Everyone was gone and he'd been left there on the bench with his elbows on his knees, neck hurting from the stiffness of sitting still so long. The sun was almost entirely down and from what he could tell the trial stream was long over. He took a moment to clear his throat.

"Sorry, d'you need something from me?"

Selphie grinned, jumping mid-clap. He didn't entirely understand why, but then again that was Selphie for you. The exact opposite of Seifer: happy, cheerful, optimistic, caring. Having a crush on _her_ , even with her being with Irvine, would have been easier than dealing with whatever these residual feelings for Seifer were. Part of him thought maybe it was just a lack of closure. The day after graduation, Zell left with Selphie and Squall for Timber, so he and Seifer had never had time to talk about what happened before everything went to hell.

And sure, they had had the last month to do so, but it was hardly important in the grand scheme of things. With the months that had pass during the war, Zell was sure it was hopeless anyway. He'd been sure he was caught up on something that only happened because Seifer had been drinking, but then holding the man's hand and laying with him outside Balamb had felt so _natural_ and there was no way Seifer hadn't felt the same...

"Squall told me you might want to help with the party! I'd love to have you take a look at my plans so far!"

" _Hyne_ , no!" The outburst had been unintentional and left Selphie looking scared and sad. "Look, I already told Squall I think it's stupid. We shouldn't be celebrating when our _friend_ is on trial for a war _we_ made. _All_ of us. Together."

"You don't even _like_ Seifer! He would have _killed_ you in this war if he'd had the chance. We need to be grateful that Squall protected us. All of us!"

It was then that he realized to other people this party wouldn't be one to welcome Seifer home, but to be glad he was gone. And _sure_ he'd been a pain in the ass and a terrible student, but it all felt somehow _extreme_. Especially coming from one of the orphanage gang. Like it or not, Seifer was one of them and Zell couldn't just leave him behind like that. They were all mixed up in this together and if one of them was going down, he shouldn't go alone.

Realizing then that he needed to do something more than sit at home and watch the trial, unable to do anything about the result, he shot up on his feet and pushed pass Selphie without listening to another word. It took a minute to scale all the steps, but without a thought he was gliding across the Garden to the parking lot where he hijacked a car and took off for Balamb. There was one more train he could take to Deling City, but he needed to hurry if he was going to make it on time.

Making a hectic stop in front of the gas station, Zell threw the keys to the man at the counter and sprinted down the road, nearly falling on his ass trying to make the corner. The attendant had been hesitant to let him in the station, but finally took Zell's money and let him on the train, which felt empty and he _cringed_. That must have been how Seifer felt when he left the other day: alone.

Looking through the window did nothing but show him the ocean. The underwater bridge was definitely worth having and it cut the travel time, surprisingly, but there was nothing interesting to do on train rides. The first stop was to Timber, and he stayed put until the got to the Deling City station. It was two in the morning and he reluctantly checked into the hotel. Even there it was awkward to exist alone, months of living with his group having left him comfortable with others' gazes. Now it was silent and there was nothing to guarantee he woke up.

He set the alarm on the clock beside him, but just laid there, unable to sleep. There were too many questions. He needed to know how he truly felt about Seifer, why he'd been so willing to drop everything and come here, if he needed to be prepared for a court martial when he got home. Disappearing was a serious offense and he'd done it for a boy he had spent his entire life hating. It didn't make any sense.

By the time his alarm went off, he hadn't slept at all, but a determined Zell jumped up and put on his game face. It was too late to change his mind about all this.

 _End Chapter Four_


	5. Battlefield

_Chapter Five: Battlefield_

The courtroom was packed full with sunlight pouring through from the right. Everyone was pressed shoulder-to-shoulder, many of them obviously outraged, though Zell could only assume they weren't angry for the same reasons he was. No one in the room understood what it had been like to _fight_ in the war and there hadn't been enough lasting damage to _riot_ about, aside from a few towns that the Galbadian Army _had_ burned down on orders from the sorceress. As far as he knew, however, that decision had nothing to do with Seifer. It had been the Army running around blowing things up and burning them to the ground.

It had been the _Army_ that shot missiles at Trabia Garden and had tried to do the same with Balamb Garden. Seifer wouldn't have made that call, to blow up his home. Zell had to have faith in at least that much. Still, surrounded by all these people stressed him out. He found himself only half-sitting in his spot in the back, stationed towards the middle of his bench and tangled between two people who were obviously distressed. There was nothing he could do to stifle the feeling that everyone there wanted Seifer to rot or die. The knot in his stomach only twisted further, leaving him ready to hurl at any moment.

A level of lightheadedness surprised him and his breath caught in his throat, eyes focusing in on Seifer as he walked through the door and was escorted to his seat. It was a miracle how all this time could have passed without them talking and still Zell got choked up looking at the man. A miracle and a _shame_. Maybe one day he would have enough self-confidence that he wouldn't need to be so concerned about the one person who had never liked him — or who had, perhaps, liked him _too much_. It had always been hard to tell with the two of them, but maybe after all this they could clear it up.

Two rows in front of him, an enraged citizen 'boo'ed as the defense was asked to be seated and when Seifer turned to glare at him, his eyes connected with Zell's and both stares softened until Seifer quickly turned around to face the front, obviously surprised by the boy's presence. Zell noticed some of the tension in his shoulders lift and there was even a light smile turning the corners of his lips. That moment was the first one he truly believed that there was still some good in Seifer and that _just maybe_ there was a chance he could get out of this by appealing to the judge's humanity.

Five minutes in and that hope had fizzled out. The courtroom was chaotic with people screaming _go to hell_ and _the blood is on your hands_ and he could barely think over all the commotion. He made the effort to meet Seifer's eyes across the room, knowing being on the stand must have been difficult. It seemed they weren't really getting anywhere; the lawyers just had him talking in circles. Same story, different day. He attacked the president, went with the sorceress, and was brainwashed. Even Zell understood it all, but there was no fighting the uproar.

What he _didn't_ understand was how Seifer could look at him with all those screaming people between them and still look so _calm_ , like he had already accepted his fate. Was Zell the only one who _hadn't_? Was he the only person still _trying_ to hope that the jury had some amount of heart inside them? It made sense for strangers to hate Seifer, but their _friends_ should have been there. Maybe none of them got along, but that didn't make them any less of a family. In all the worst parts of their lives, their group had always had each other. Now, Seifer had no circle. Fujin and Raijin had been in the courtroom when they could, but even they couldn't get away from school every day.

Though the blue in Seifer's eyes was momentarily calming, Zell tensed as the noise only seemed to grow louder. Taking the criticism only got harder and he wasn't even the only being talked about. Hands curled into fists, nails _digging_ into his palms until they bled. His foot tapped on the floor until he hit the bench in front of him and jumped out of his seat, effectively parting the crowd and sending everyone into the lap of the person beside them. He screamed, ignoring the concern suddenly coating Seifer's eyes. There was no reason _not_ to be angry.

"You're all _hypocrites_! You say you don't want anything to do with war, but here you are trying to start one in your own home!"

The stares he received on his way to the aisle weren't enough to get him to sit back down and be quiet. The guards at each door visibly changed stance to get ready for a fight, but that didn't concern Zell at all. With everything he'd had to fight in the war, a couple security guards were _nothing_. Compared to fighting _Seifer_ , it'd be a walk in the park. Determined steps only brought him to the gate separating the spectators from everyone else, fingers clenching around the top of it as he planted his feet. He looked up to Seifer, seemingly for approval, but only received confusion. He kept going regardless.

"There have _always_ been rumors the sorceress had the ability to control people's minds. It shouldn't take this long to look at Seifer and realize that's _exactly_ what happened! He might be a total _asshole_ , but... come _on_ , he's failed the SeeD exam four times because he can't follow orders. He's not a _soldier_ and you can't just — just sit there and treat him like _shit_ because you're all mad about a war that a group of _seventeen year olds_ ran around and fixed for you."

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to be seated, or else I'll have you escorted out."

"Fuck that! I'm just as responsible for the war as Seifer is. Let him go or arrest us both, but one way or another I'm not leaving without him."

Maybe Seifer wasn't a soldier, but they were still on the same side at the end of the night. They had both been wronged by the world and somehow Zell had been the one lucky enough to have a home and a family and friends who supported him unconditionally. He'd never had trouble after the orphanage and then there was Seifer, who doubted himself enough to follow a deranged sorceress into a battle that wasn't his own. It was a war that had always been meant for the SeeDs and the sorceress. No one else ever should have needed to get hurt.

He swallowed hard, anxious as the judge had a conversation with the lawyers at the bench in a whisper. Seifer shook his head, but Zell couldn't tell if it was in disapproval or simply disbelief. He was the _last_ person who would have been expected to stand up for the taller blond, after all.

"The court will go to recess. We'll have an answer for you in fifteen minutes."

Zell relaxed, though only by a fraction. That at least had to mean they were _considering_ it. Maybe he wouldn't change the outcome and maybe he'd end up right there back in prison alongside Seifer, but at least no one could say that he didn't _try_. Unable to keep the smile from his lips, he followed where Seifer was being escorted by guards. It was a small room in the back of the courthouse with no windows and the guards weren't willing to let him in. He used a stop spell to get them to take a breather so he could see Seifer.

The moment was somehow more than he expected, taking his breath away as he sat on the bench beside the other man. He could have gotten Seifer's handcuffs off right then and they could have just _left_ but he wanted to believe things would go their way. He wanted to believe that everyone would get to go home to try and be happy for once. Letting out a slow breath, Zell scooped up Seifer's hands in his own. Their chests rose and fell in sync with each other, on the same page for the first time in their lives, though neither quite knew what happened next.

"I thought I told you we're not friends."

Zell chuckled at the statement, grip on Seifer's hands only tightening. There had been no hostility to the words and he wouldn't have been worried either way. Only so many more things could go wrong before the day was up. For a moment, all he managed was to shake his head and he made a decision. They didn't have to be friends. They didn't have to be _anything_. But if they were going to crawl out of the holes they'd dug for themselves, they couldn't do it alone. He had to try and make things _right_ , to make up for all the pain they'd caused each other.

"Can't just shut up an accept my help _once_ , huh?"

But the _almost-grin_ fell from Seifer's face and he jerked his hands away, eyebrows knitting together in something between confuson and offense. That was the first moment Zell considered that maybe Seifer _wanted_ to die, had felt that he _deserved_ it... but why, then, would he plead innocent instead of guilty? It didn't make sense, though he tended not to understand the complexities of Seifer's mind.

"I don't _want_ you here, Chicken-wuss. Go _home_. You don't belong here."

"—Well neither do you! I'm not going back to Garden without you. I stole a car to get here and my nose is broken and I'm tired and I'm not _leaving_ you here. Raijin and Fujin didn't even show up today! I know they have school or whatever, but you're _dying_ out there alone. All I can do back in Garden is watch your trial from a screen and think _'damn, someone needs to go help him'_ and now that I'm trying, you don't _want_ me here? What the HELL, man?"

Zell was standing now, angrily pacing the closet of a room they had. Time was counting down until the guards unfroze and came for them and in ten minutes they would either be free men or imprisoned ones. The anxiety built back up along with the tension in his shoulders. All of their friends were watching from the safety of Garden. Able to yell whatever they wanted without any repercussions. Able to say they _hoped_ for the best and were disappointed by whatever result. Able to lie and say they cared what happened from here.

The courtroom was a war zone all its own. Standing there with a million stares boring holes into your head. A million judgments passed in an instant. He was sweating and he hadn't even started punching his way through the crowd yet. But it was certainly too early to throw up their arms and give up the fight. They'd been trained never to _stop_ fighting. If you get knocked down, walk it off. That was the rule. Pick up your partner and carry them home if you had to. Squall had done that and more for Rinoa. He carried her into _space_. The least _anyone_ could do now was go back for Seifer, their fallen comrade, and try to get him back on his feet, if only for a moment.

"You're only making things _worse_ , Dincht. This is out of your hands and you shouldn't have come here."

Zell rolled his eyes. _What a broken record_. It was too late for him to choose to stand by and do nothing else like everyone else and Seifer would just have to accept that and _deal_ with it. In the meantime, he sat back down, knees spread with an elbow resting on either one, hands clasped together as a stand for his chin. The days of making difficult decisions were supposed to have ended with the war. All of this was just... too _much_ , too _overwhelming_. A small sigh snuck between his lips, molding his features into a frown.

"You never change. Quistis was right. You're always going to a problem, pushing everyone away and refusing to accept help from anyone." He paused only to shake his head again. "I'm not havin' it. I'm getting you out of here. After that, if you wanna hate me, _fuck it_. But I came here on a mission and I'm not leaving 'til it's finished. _That's_ what you don't understand about being a SeeD. You can't quit your mission."

There was silence for a moment, both wondering why everything they did had to turn into a fight one way or another. In the moment, Zell was glad they had never discussed the kiss they'd shared on graduation because there was no telling what kind of arguments _that_ would bring up. It was obvious they couldn't _date_ , they were total opposites and everything Seifer did drove Zell _mad_. That was no way to maintain a relationship. But he also couldn't deny that there was _something_ there to motivate him to come all this way and risk everything he had. To put it all on the line.

"You should leave before the guards catch you. We'll be called in there any minute and you could get us in trouble if they find us talking."

There was no emotion there and Zell was somehow shocked by the lack of passion, but he couldn't argue. He stood without another word and walked to the door, pausing long enough to look back at the other man. Though he'd intended to offer a friendly smile, the frown stayed in place and only deepened before he walked out, casting a quiet round of esuna on the guards he'd stopped.

The last few minutes of the recess felt like hours and when they were up he was dragged up to the bench alongside Seifer, staring down the judge and trying not to show any fear or concern about what might await in his future. If he got himself arrested, that meant his mother would have seen all this and he'd never have a chance to apologize. Hyne, she was going to _kill_ him when this was all over. His eyes closed as he tried to imagine a peace, to convince himself that, regardless of the outcome, this was the right choice and it was too late to second guess himself. He followed his heart.

"The jury has reached a decision. We find the defense to be..."

The pause, though only a moment, felt like a century. Zell could _feel_ the stares of the entire audience on him, but more importantly he could feel _Seifer's_ eyes on him. He hated the feeling of it all and what hurt worse was the desire to have Seifer's hand in his own, to have that sense of comfort and know that he wasn't alone. But he _was_ alone. For as much as he said his friends had his back, none of them had supported him in helping Seifer and now even Seifer himself had admitted he didn't want Zell's help. Maybe his friends weren't really his friends after all.

"—Guilty on all charges." The words carried a weight that almost brought Zell to his knees. "Taking into account Mr. Dincht's... _unusual_ testimony this morning, sentencing is as follows: Seifer Almasy will perform 500 hours of supervised community service. This is probationary and if _anything_ goes wrong, you'll serve fifteen years in a maximum security prison." The judge turned slightly. "Zell Dincht, for admitting to aiding the conspiracy of the war, you will perform 100 hours of supervised community service, until the completion of which your status as a SeeD will be suspended."

The yelling by spectators continued, but in that moment all Zell could see was an almost-smiling Seifer, shocked as his handcuffs were being taken off his wrists, which he promptly rubbed at in relief. In an instant, the two men were trapped in an embrace, Zell's cheek pressed securely into the taller man's chest, and he was at peace. His eyes closed, hands grabbed at Seifer's shirt and held the fabric in little balls, afraid to let go.

"Court's dismissed. Everyone, please go home. We have soldiers in the halls to help direct you out, but you will be escorted if necessary."

Zell didn't move, wanting to stay there, stay _calm_ , for at least another minute. After the stress of this whole trial, they needed that moment of contact. He was unaware that cameras were still rolling, let alone that the live stream was still _live_. There were no stares for him to notice anymore aside from Seifer's, and it took a gentle tap to his shoulder to get him to pull away, face red as a Ruby Dragon. A finger lifted his chin and his eyes met Seifer's for only a moment before their lips connected and he could feel the weakness in his knees.

It was different than the kiss they'd shared before in the sense that it was _real_. Neither of them were drunk, unless being under the influence of elation counted. Real as it was, however, Zell pulled away and told himself that it was just a _thank you_ for saving their asses. With Seifer, it couldn't be anything more than that. The last time they kissed, Seifer had disappeared afterwards and then started a _war_. Hopefully, in this case, history wouldn't repeat itself. He wasn't sure any of them could survive another standoff.

"We should get home."

But Zell shook his head, pulling Seifer's hand into his own and tugging him towards the door. They'd come this far, there was no reason to go home so soon. After all, they had some celebrating to do and Seifer's _real_ friends were in Galbadia. Their fingers entwined, neither noticing the few lasting glances, nor how the camera had focused on their interactions for a minute. The rest of the room's occupants were left stunned into silence.

"Nah, they can do without us for another day. If we grab a train, we can make it to Galbadia Garden and see Raijin and Fujin. We'll stay there tonight and catch a train back to Balamb in the morning. Squall can yell at us all he wants then."

Both men tried to ignore their smiles and their red cheeks, tried to convince themselves it was all just excitement from the outcome. From being _free_ , sort of. Still, Seifer tightened the grip he had on Zell's hand and picked up his pace to stay in line.

"Yeah, alright."

 _End Chapter Five_


	6. Steadying

_Chapter Six: Steadying_

Over the last week, watching the trial had become the biggest pastime in Garden. Triple Triad games halted completely when the TVs turned on. Half the students piled into the cafeteria with the others camping out in the quad. Squall and his team were positioned on a small string of blankets with Selphie sitting on Irvine's lap, Rinoa with her head on Squall's shoulder, and Quistis separating the two couples. Everyone around spoke amongst themselves quietly, speculating Seifer's fate, and none of the crew could really blame them.

Things hadn't been going well yet, though it seemed they were going a _little_ easier on Edea since she wasn't involved as long, which was surprising considering she _was_ the sorceress. It only proved that they were just looking for a scapegoat, not for who's really responsible. They just wanted a _face_ to put to the disaster and maybe Zell had been right all along that they needed to do something to help him out, but it was too late for that.

"Shh, it's starting."

In the distance, Quistis saw Nida and Xu settling in just a few feet from the screen, whispering amongst themselves casually. She might almost feel more comfortable with them, but between their childhoods and the last year, she didn't want to leave the team. They were the only family she was going to get anytime soon. A small smile crossed her lips looking between her friends. Her life might not have _improved_ post-war, but it wasn't bad either. However, the grin faded as she noticed someone missing and her stomach tied itself into knots.

"Has anyone seen Zell? He hasn't missed one of these yet."

It was her concern that caused Squall to look around and he sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. He should have known that Zell wouldn't leave Seifer's trial alone. Rinoa looked up at him in confusion. She'd known how adamant Zell was about helping Seifer, but didn't know about the argument he'd had with Squall and the flight crew. Quistis' expression grew sour thinking of it and knowing it was the last time she'd seen him. Knowing he was so _angry_ only made her more upset. Made her regret not following him down the elevator and trying to work out a solution for him, get him to calm down.

"I argued with him about... not doing anything to help Seifer. I told him it was out of my hands and he stormed out."

"Oh, I saw him after that!" Selphie piped in, leaning over Irvine to do so. "He walked out on me too. He called my party stupid and then just... left. I haven't seen him since. That was yesterday." Bringing a hand to cover her mouth, she gasped, eyes wide. "You don't think he fell in the pond in the training center again, do you? I hope he's okay..."

Rinoa reached over Quistis to grab Selphie's hand before offering her a small smile. They shared a look that somehow comforted both of them.

"Zell's okay. He's probably just asleep or watching from the cafeteria."

Rinoa's words would have had more of an impact if everyone hadn't already begun to assume the worst. Irvine gently guided Selphie off his lap and crawled over to Squall where he took a squat and placed a hand on their commander's shoulder for balance. Maybe they hadn't given Seifer enough of a chance, but if Zell _was_ that upset over it, they needed to look a little closer and try to see what their martial artist saw. They weren't quite functioning as a team anymore and this was just proof. They'd all begun thinking of themselves as individuals again instead of a rebel team trying to save the world.

"You want me to go look for him? I can check the cafeteria and his dorm."

Squall looked down, visibly taking a moment to think it over. Though he parted his lips to speak, the moment was struck short by the interruption of a familiar voice through the speakers. All heads turned back towards the screen, an entire group of eyes wide in shock.

 _"You're all hypocrites!"_

Groaning, Squall let his head drop and covered his face with one hand. _That_ kid, with all his anger, was a representative of their school. The girls all crawled together, Selphie and Rinoa each taking one of Quistis' hands as her jaw dropped. They all knew that this was a repeat of the presidential kidnapping. The beginning of the war all over again, Zell being up on a live stream and making an ass of himself. If it hadn't been too late to change his mind earlier, it certainly was now.

Conversations grew louder around the quad, students obviously growing concerned about what was going to happen to Garden once all this was over. A few students turned back to look at Squall, but he ignored them, only looking back to Irvine as if still trying to form a plan. The problem with that was Zell. Zell had always been a loose cannon and plans tended to go awry when he was involved.

"Is this our fault?" Quistis whispered, gaze falling downward. She had been an instructor; she had been _Zell's_ instructor. Did she _really_ do so poorly as to let her students pull off stupid stunts like this? "I don't understand."

"I guess we'll find out after the recess," Selphie whispered back with a frown.

The group as a whole felt like the world was pressing down on them again. The fifteen minute recess almost presented more stress than fighting in a war had. Upon everyone re-entering the courtroom, they all tensed and focused in on the screen. Upon the judge revealing that Seifer had been found guilty, a silence swept suddenly across the quad, with Rinoa and Selphie tightening their grips on Quistis' hands and Irvine and Squall quietly closing their eyes and wishing they had done more.

Quistis felt her breath hitch in her throat, but couldn't swallow the lump and let herself lean over to rest her head on Selphie's shoulder. Hearing that the boys were only sentenced to community service was a relief, but somehow didn't help her feel better. Looking back up to the screen, her jaw dropped in tandem with Rinoa's at the sight of Seifer and Zell kissing. She had never suspected _that_ , but the reason behind Zell's determination to clear Seifer and fix things had become apparent.

"Holy cow, am I really _seein'_ that?" Irvine asked, unsure how to process the sight before them.

Quistis tuned out the noise of the quad, forcefully ignoring the comments and snide remarks by other students. She stood and walked away without another word, closely followed by the girls and their boyfriends. One way or another, they were going to find a way to make all of this work.

* * *

Galbadia Garden was nicer than Zell remembered, but the last time he'd been there they were under attack. Squall walked them straight into a battle with Cerberus himself and not long afterward they'd fought Seifer and Edea again, not to mention everything that happened with Rinoa. Life had been so stressful back then, he hadn't had the time to enjoy the Garden for all it was actually worth. Being there now he understood why Raijin and Fujin would transfer in the first place. What he _didn't_ quite understand was why Seifer _wouldn't_ transfer along with them. It was obvious the taller blond knew his way around and there were bound to be more opportunities there.

The two men walked through Garden hand in hand, Zell with a grin and Seifer looking more _confused_ about everything. Raijin and Fujin had been waiting for them in the auditorium, where they had watched the end of the trial after classes. Upon walking in, the blonds received a round of applause by what used to be two thirds of the Disciplinary Committee. Only then did Seifer crack a smile, at the expense of dropping Zell's hand from his own.

"Yo! It's so great to see you a free man, ya know? We thought things weren't going so well, ya know?"

"RELIEVED."

Fujin was right. They were _all_ relieved that, if nothing else, at least Seifer had minimal freedom. Anything was better than spending a few years behind bars. Smile widening a bit, Seifer pulled Zell under one arm and Raijin under the other, winking casually at Fujin as if all of this hadn't been _terrible_ and _stress-inducing_. As if he hadn't changed at all since they left and it wasn't until that moment that Zell considered the possibility that being separated from Raijin and Fujin was what had Seifer so conflicted. He would have been the same way leaving Squall and Selphie.

"You guys can totally stay in my dorm tonight. You need a good rest tonight, ya know?"

The thought of sharing a room with Seifer again brought butterflies to Zell's stomach and he blushed, taking only a moment to hide his face in Seifer's side before pulling away and crossing his arms over his chest. It was amazing how all of this had happened, how he'd set out to _free Seifer_ and had actually sort of done it. He'd proven his loyalty and the ball was in Seifer's court. If they were going to talk about _them_ , he was ready. He _wanted_ to hear how Seifer felt about it all, felt about _him_. Wanted to know if all this was in vain or if it would pay off in some type of friendship with them, maybe something greater.

"Thanks, Raijin. We, uh, we have to leave early though. It'll take two trains to get home and Squall's gonna be _pissed_ when we get there."

Not only that, Zell was sure when they got settled in back at Garden that Seifer would give him hell for _borrowing_ a car from the lot. He wasn't sure where they stood right now and the air seemed more _tense_ than he'd expected it would, but things wouldn't change overnight. If they did, their friends would only be more concerned about _whatever_ was happening between them. So, for now, he'd settle for this _awkwardness_ , not knowing where they stood or quite how to act. They'd been doing this charade a long time and it couldn't hurt to keep it up.

"It's good to see you guys," Seifer finally commented, "but it _is_ late. We don't have time really to hang out. First train leaves at sunrise."

Raijin let out a sad ' _aww, man_ ' and frowned deeply, but nodded after a moment. It would have been great for all of them to spend some time together, but it would have to wait. With all the time the boys had to _not_ do anything school-related, it couldn't be too hard to get back and see them. After all, even Galbadia Garden was sure to have things for community service-members to do.

Accepting this, the group left for Raijin's dorm.

* * *

The night seemed to drag on for Zell. Rather than crash on a couch, he and Seifer both ended up on the floor, which wouldn't have been as confusing had Seifer not thrown an arm around him and fallen asleep right there. Getting to sleep had been harder for Zell, who was busy reeling over everything that had happened. His heart pounded away at his chest all night as if he himself couldn't believe what he'd done in that courtroom, couldn't believe that he'd embarrassed Garden _again_ , and all for a boy everyone else was convinced wasn't worth saving.

When their alarm went off in the morning, Zell felt groggy and confused. He could barely keep his eyes open, though he focused as best he could on the sight of Seifer getting dressed. Somehow, it was easy to pretend this was all natural and ignore everything else, but that ended as soon as Seifer threw Zell's jacket on his face to wake him up. Growling, Zell _did_ sit up, but he glared daggers at Seifer, only staying quiet to respect Raijin.

Five minutes were spent getting dressed in silence only for them to sneak out. Zell kept his hands in his pockets, unable to keep up with how fast Seifer was walking away from Garden. Just _looking_ at the forest was enough to make Zell want to stay instead of going home, remembering how stressful things had been the first time he'd passed through and half the team collapsed to the _dream world_. Thankfully, that part of their lives were over and he didn't have to worry about saving the world anymore. Just serving it for a hundred hours.

Sighing loudly, he stopped walking entirely and wished he had gotten some sleep. Frankly, he didn't understand how Seifer had slept so _well_ after everything that had been going on. They weren't meant to have to deal with any of this. Zell wanted to believe that Seifer wouldn't have had to deal with any of this in the first place had he not already turned 18, been an _adult_. But it was over now and they could put it all behind them.

Seifer turned around and frowned, walking towards Zell and stopping within a foot of the shorter man, who suddenly realized that not _all_ of it could stay in the past. The way his heart pounded faster around the older man could only mean that he hadn't gotten his closure and he wasn't done with this. Seifer placed a hand on either of Zell's shoulders and then ran them down the boy's arms, taking one of his hands only to tug him along and start walking towards the forest again.

Zell didn't know why having Seifer's hand in his own could make him that much more comfortable, but he managed to pick up speed and follow only a step behind. A smile slowly wiped the tiredness from his face and though they traveled in silence it wasn't a chore. The forest seemed to be only a few steps and the train station was right _there_ , tall and lit up. He paid for their tickets to board and went directly to the room to sit on the couch.

Seifer loomed in the doorway with his hand on his hip and a light smirk on his face. In one swift motion, he approached the couch and pulled Zell up from it only to sit at the head of the bed and let the shorter man lay down beside him. As if he actually _cared_ about Zell, which could be considered a radical idea, Seifer cared his fingers through the boy's hair and allowed himself to let his guard down for the first time since the war started.

"Shhh," he encouraged softly. "You're exhausted. A lot happened yesterday. Go to sleep and I'll wake you up when we get to Balamb."

Granted, that wouldn't be until they stopped at the Timber station, but Zell could easily sleep through that without causing any of them problems. They were lucky deciding not to get off would let them ride the train as long as necessary. Still, Zell looked up at Seifer quizzically, not _entirely_ certain he was comfortable sleeping there like that. Maybe the issue trying to sleep the night before was simply he still didn't _quite_ trust Seifer. Certainly didn't trust him like he had come to trust the team he'd run around with during the war.

"Do you think Edea and Cid are coming back to Garden?" he asked instead of sleeping, though he took Seifer's free hand in his own.

"They're officially calling her trial this afternoon, but I think it looks good for her. They both love Garden, I doubt they'd abandon us at a time like this."

One thing Edea had proven herself to be was loyal. After all these years, she still did everything she could to take care of the children that had been in her orphanage once upon a time. She was the only mother most of them had and she never gave up on them, not even Seifer. Zell knew he was right, that Cid and Edea wouldn't just leave them because the war was over. They needed to assign a new mission. When Zell was able to become a SeeD again, he'd prove himself worthy of fighting for the next cause, too.

Both men stayed quiet and were able to find a simple companionship in the silence, with Seifer gently smiling down at Zell, who had closed his eyes in an attempt to get any rest whatsoever. After a few minutes, Zell turned over and placed his head over their joined hands which were in Seifer's lap. Seifer closed his own eyes and rested his head back against the wall behind him, hoping to enjoy the moment while they had it. Even with _this_ going on between them, it had always seemed impossible to get a moment of quiet... and it was.

"Squall's not gonna like me when I come back. I kinda didn't tell him I was leaving."

While it didn't come as a _shock_ to Seifer, the grin dissipated as his disappointed flourished. He should have assumed as much; Squall, of all people, was unlikely to send Zell, _of all people_ , to go watch his trial, let alone condone interrupting it as he had. But there was no anger. Breaking the rules, in this case, came from a place of neutrality. Putting the past behind them and moving forward. More importantly, he'd _needed_ it and the fact that someone had displayed such passion like that on his behalf couldn't be overlooked.

"Don't worry about Squall. He would have done the same thing for Rinoa."

 _Rinoa_. The girl who had basically been Seifer's girlfriend for half a year leading up to the war. Zell didn't understand entirely why he was concerned about her reaction so much, but he wanted her to be okay with the idea of him cozying up to her ex-boyfriend, as complicated as that all sounded. If nothing else, she had at least been the most supportive at the idea that Seifer needed help and they needed to be the ones to help him. Maybe she was happy enough with Squall now that it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

"... I think Rinoa still likes you."

Seifer didn't respond, letting the silence linger as he continued to run his fingers through Zell's hair. There was no easy answer and they had too many problems to solve them all at once. The smart thing to do would be to sit back and deal with them one at a time, as necessary, but neither of them had ever been good at letting things simmer, leaving them be until they made themselves known. Some things would need to become uncomplicated quickly for any of this work out nicely.

He wanted to put it all in a box. Take his feelings and put a time and place on when they could be addressed, because this wasn't the place, but this wasn't just about him. It had become about everyone. Those he'd hurt, those he'd betrayed, those he'd loved and lost or _tried_ to love but fell short. It had become about changing and accepting a role in society that he had never occupied before. So he took a deep breath, reluctant to answer.

"Doesn't matter."

It was such a _Seifer_ answer that Zell didn't think anything of it, pressing his lips to the back of Seifer's hand and trying to ignore the tightness in his chest or the way he felt like shriveling up. No man should be able to bring another to his knees like Seifer could him. None of it made any sense.

"Do you like her still?"

The chuckle that followed brought a smirk back to Seifer's lips and somehow, despite the circumstances, the tension in Zell's shoulders faded out.

"Not for a while now."

Zell turned enough to look up and blinked. It was weird seeing Seifer so calm and quiet and _gentle_. Had this been what he was like with Rinoa all those months ago? If so, he could understand why she'd fallen for him and why she had been so distraught at the _idea_ that Seifer had been killed for attacking the president. Logically speaking he should have been publicly executed with no mercy. It was becoming a good thing that he hadn't been.

"Alright," he whispered back, closing his eyes again and shifting just enough to get comfortable. That was the end of the conversation, if only because Zell was afraid to ask how Seifer felt about _him_. Instead, he chose to enjoy the moment and this time sleep wasn't so elusive.

In a matter of seconds, he was out, Seifer still looming overhead admiring him silently, only occasionally glancing towards the window for clues as to where they were. Somehow, it was comfortable for the both of them, and that was enough.

 _End Chapter Six_


	7. Unsettled

_Brief intermission to apologize for my absence. Due to technical issues, this update is coming to you via 3DS. More spelling errors may be present. In the meantime, happy holidays!  
_

— _R.W._

* * *

 _Chapter Seven: Unsettled_

The Balamb train station signaled the end of the companionship they had achieved. The walk to the edge of town was quiet and neither man was quite prepared for the road back to Garden. Zell walked with his fists shoved in his pockets, shoulders dropped as low as they could get. His gaze never strayed from the path, almost as if he were afraid of what would happen when they got home.

Conversely, Seifer stood tall as ever, head held high with pride. Not one step gave hint to the submissiveness he had shown in court, though he would argue that his actions on the bench had all been self-preservation. Provoking the jury would only have succeeded in getting him the death penalty once and for all. But there was more to it than that; surrounding him was an air of _independence_ , as if he wanted people to believe he didn't need Zell like they all probably thought.

 _Needing_ someone was a weakness and he'd shown too much of that already. Hell, it was hard to look at himself without seeing a coward. Though a coward wouldn't have waltzed through the forest and fought a T-Rexaur. A coward wouldn't have taken off after his friends to try and help them on their mission. A _coward_ wouldn't have followed a woman he just met on the promise of opportunity that he had no hold over. No, _he_ knew that he wasn't a coward, and maybe that could be enough.

They hesitated just outside Garden's gates. A small bridge had been bult to close the gap between the school and the ground now that they were living out of a crater, but just staring at the hole in the ground was enough to remind Zell the ordeal he'd been through. Enough to remind him of the fear the team had felt thinking they were going to die in the missile base — or worse, the fear that their actions might not have had any effect and they would have lost their friends anyway.

A hand on his own tore Zell from his thoughts and he looked up to see a reluctant smile as some of Seifer's wall fell down. They had caused all of this trouble together, Seifer with kidnapping the president and Zell with saying who they were. Now, they had come full circle. It was time to face the music and finish the race the same way they'd started. Side by side.

Taking a deep breath, Zell nodded and took the first step into Garden with Seifer only half a step behind. It was dinnertime and students were scarce in the halls, though there had been a few of them to stop and stare as the two blonds made their way to the cafeteria, which was almost overflowing. Their presence seemed to make all noise cease immediately and in a sharp motion, Seifer released Zell's hand and crossed his arms over his chest.

Groups slowly began whispering amongst themselves again, though the boys' paranoia convinced them that they were the general topic of conversation. Shuffling to get food was the easy part in spite of the discomfort. Facing Squall and the gang was significantly harder. Zell's grip on his tray tightened the more his hands shook, standing there with a dumb look on his face at their table. Was sitting there even still an option after abandoning them like he had?

"Hey guys!" he piped up, flashing a smile and trying not to seem as nervous as he really was. "Can we sit?"

Rinoa grinned in return, pushing Squall a little further down to make room. She was the only one who didn't look _afraid_ or like there were eggshells to walk on. The only one who looked proud of them for making it back in one piece, though their peers were certainly cutting them to bits in their minds.

"Welcome back, guys!" As they sat, Rinoa reached for Zell's hand to squeeze as reassurance, but quickly moved on to do the same to Seifer. "It looks like you didn't get into too much trouble on your way back. Did you celebrate last night?"

"No."

Seifer's answer came and went abruptly, ended by the pizza he shoved in his face. Zell's eyes narrowed as he stared at the taller boy, but shook his head and tried to smile at his friends. Saying they slept together obviously wasn't an option, but he could at least say that they saw Raijin and Fujin. It hadn't been _entirely_ uneventful.

"We had an early train," he offered instead. "So after the trial was over, we settled in at Raijin's and passed out. Galbadia's pretty far when you can't fly."

Unfortunately for those who had come to love the freedom of flying, Ragnarok had been given back to Esthar after the war. Selphie had been pretty upset about it, but Laguna said he would take it out for them to use if they really needed it. Squall hadn't exactly been _thrilled_ to find out the president was his father, but it was slowly becoming okay with all of them. They were all happy for him, that he didn't have to be alone anymore.

"So, uh... Are you guys..." Irvine's voice was quiet and he shifted as a result of his own discomfort, awkwardly waving a hand between Seifer and Zell as if that were enough to finish his question. "I mean, I guess, how _long_ have you two... you know."

Mouth agape, Selphie half-heartedly smacked Irvine's shoulder as if trying to tell him he'd crossed a line. As if bringing up the kiss had been deemed an untouchable topic.

"They _just_ got back! Give them some time to figure things out. It's not everyday your friends kiss on live tv!"

At the words _live tv_ , Zell's eyes widened and he began to choke on his food. He'd been so caught up in the moment that he'd forgotten entirely that they were even there to film that. Seifer's own surprise was somehow handled with less composure. Shooting up from his seat, he kicked it to the ground and lifted his tray only to dump the food onto Zell's and walk away. Torn between which boy to help, Rinoa gave Zell a good pat on the back to help him catch his breath, but quickly took after Seifer.

Left to everyone else's stares, Zell only felt more uncomfortable and alone and _cornered_. He'd never had to consider what a relationship with Seifer could do to the dynamics of their friend group, but it looked like it was time to find out. They all looked _betrayed_ , as if he'd done something bad by just _kissing_ the boy, but they all should have known better. They'd forgiven Edea, even after everything Ultimecia did through her. Though it might take some time, forgiving Seifer wouldn't be any more difficult than doing that.

"Um..." He began, clearing his throat and absentmindedly fiddling with his fingers. "We're not... It's not like we're _together_ or anything. We haven't... talked about it. I don't..." A sigh. "What do you guys want from me?"

"I thought you hated Seifer," Squall spoke with a shrug. As if he had a right to talk. As if he hadn't acted all buddy-buddy with the blond even after being struck in the face by Hyperion. "We were all just surprised."

"I know you said there was nothing going on with the girl in the library but... I didn't think you were involved with Seifer either. You could have told us."

Zell looked away. Quistis was wrong for once. This wasn't something he could have talked to them about. They had been enemies for such a long time and he didn't even know how to feel about whatever it was he and Seifer had going on.

"We AREN'T together," he reiterated. "I'm done talking about it."

* * *

"Seifer, wait!"

Rinoa ran towards him with one hand out, happily interlocking their fingers when he stopped and turned towards her. For the longest time she had thought this would never happen again, them being close, but now it had become possible. She wanted them to still be best friends even if she was with Squall. Even if everyone else hated him.

"I'm not going back in there, Rin."

She giggled, putting her free hand on her hip. Stubborn as ever. A good sign he was back in his own brain, which was a relief at this point. None of them were quite sure who he was anymore. Could he still be more man than monster?

"I wasn't going to ask you to." She knew how hard it was for him to be vulnerable. Knights didn't have emotions. Feelings would only get in the way. "But I do think we should talk about Zell. You both deserve to be happy and I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Hah! I'm not here to talk about my feelings, so don't bother."

Rinoa sighed. It had taken a while for him to open up to her in the beginning too. Baby steps. She only wished he still felt he could be that open.

"Then just listen. Zell cares about you and I know you care about him. Don't screw it up by running away. You're actually a pretty great boyfriend when you let yourself love someone. I should know."

And it was true. She had loved him. At the time she had had every reason to believe he loved her too. The way he would look at Zell was too obvious. Maybe the two boys had always been in love. Now she just needed to make sure they got over themselves and gave their relationship a shot. They would only need the one.

Seifer frowned and took his hand back, knowing she had a point. But as far as he was concerned, Zell was just a boy. Nothing more, nothing significant. He was doing just fine on his own. Wasn't Squall always preaching about how you didn't need anyone else to survive?

"Go finish your meal. I'll be in my room."

The grin Rinoa had been attempting to keep fell as Seifer walked away. There was still a lot of ground to cover if her friends were going to live out their fairytale. Maybe it wasn't too late to help that happen.

* * *

The rest of the night was composed of Zell groaning and ignoring questions he didn't want to answer. It seemed silly that he had spent all of that energy worrying about Seifer when no one else did and now everyone wanted to know about Seifer. What happened with Seifer. How long it's been happening with Seifer. It was all too much.

Even in the sanctity of his dorm, he couldn't escape it. Thoughts kept running wild, keeping him up. Frustrated and exhausted, he finally got up to do something about it and that was how Zell ended up knocking on a door at one in the morning. Hyne, neighbors with early classes would hate him later.

It was Seifer's roommate who answered the door, hair mussy and no shirt to be seen. The kid's eyes were red, bags underneath the eyes a deep purple. It almost made Zell feel bad for coming all the way there, but after a moment the roommate smirked and walked away. In that moment, Zell decided he didn't like the kid.

"Get your ass up, Almasy. Boyfriend's here for a fuck."

Eyes widening, Zell began to greatly regret not staying in his own room. Seifer was going to kill him, and yet there was a softness in the man's blue eyes as he came to the door that Zell hadn't had many opportunities to see.

Seifer had on a grey shirt, luckily for Zell who would have turned red had he shown up bare-chested as his roommate had. A moment passed in silence without either smiling or showing any real signs that they cared about each other. But who would come to the door in the middle of the night to see someone they hated?

"You okay, Chickie?"

Zell's relief that he hadn't blushed upon seeing Seifer was in vain. The moment he heard the man's voice, his cheeks lit up like Rudolph. Fuck hormones.

"Can't sleep," came his simple response.

It had been enough to satisfy both of them for another minute and then Seifer grinned. It hadn't been easy getting here, but maybe they could make it after all. Stepping away from the door only for a moment, Seifer returned wearing his coat and with gunblade in hand.

"Let's go."

Initial hesitation ceased when Seifer reached for Zell's hand. The two scurried through the corridors together, never letting go. Zell's grip tightened once they were inside the training center, chest nearly collapsing as he felt the pressure of the water all over again. And what if they ran into T-Rexaur again?

"Don't be such a chicken wuss. We'll be fine."

Zell swallowed hard, but nodded. He was a good fighter and Seifer was more than capable of handling a sword. The more often they trained like this, the better team they would become and at least it gave him sonething to do.

What he hadn't expected was for them to fight their way through five grats and duck onto the secret balcony. Couples had a tendency to sneak there after hours and Zell noticed how the two that were there scurried out at the sight of Seifer, as if heading the disciplinary committee actually meant anything right now.

But they weren't there to rain on anyone's parade or freak couples out. No, instead, Seifer silently moved a hand to either of Zell's shoulders and stood behind him facing out, looking over the railing at the world around them. At the stars.

"I'm only going to say this once, but I like you." Seifer's voice was low, breath beating down on Zell's ear as he hunched himself over to speak to the boy, who somehow managed to get redder. "I don't care what your friends think about me."

Zell cared what his friends thought. They were a team and he wanted their support. With Seifer, he didn't know if he'd ever get that. But he sighed and spun around carefully to look into Seifer's eyes. Maybe it was worth the risk.

"This is fuckin' weird."

Though Seifer nodded in agreement, neither man moved. Weird didn't have to mean bad or wrong. It was just new and different and unsuspected.

"What do you say, Chick?"

Before Zell could answer, he found himself pulling Seifer into a kiss and he supposed that was answer enough.

 _End Chapter Seven_


End file.
